


if this was your plan (i've completely fallen for it)

by heim



Series: and they were (step)brothers [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-06-18 00:21:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15473343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heim/pseuds/heim
Summary: Im Changkyun has lived away from home all his life and is looking forward to finally be reunited with his father after spending the past years at a boarding school in the States. Unfortunately, moving back home means moving in with his stepbrother Kihyun, who has never shown any interest in him despite their parents being married for four years.When they leave for the summer to celebrate their anniversary and the boys are left alone in the large Gangnam apartment, Kihyun decides to introduce Changkyun to Seoul; to the city, to the parties and to his friends, making Changkyun question everything he thought he knew.  Especially regarding his stepbrother.





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! 
> 
> I suddenly got inspired by the thought of Kihyun and Changkyun as stepbrothers from different worlds and how that dynamic could potentially play out, so I decided to write about it. It has been so much fun writing this, and I hope you will enjoy the story as much as I have writing it :)
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes, as the story is unbetaed. Some ages have been altered for story cohesion, but if needed I'll clarify the changes later. The story will later also tackle some pretty dark themes. I've chosen to not add any warnings yet to not spoil the story, but if you know that you are uncomfortable with nsfw content, you have been warned. 
> 
> The title is taken from Monsta X - Jealousy.

**To: Mr. Idol**

_Where are you?_

_Can I see you?_

Kihyun puts his phone down next to him on the bed after sending the last message. He has made sure that the sound is on loud and clear in case he receives an answer within the next couple of minutes. Knowing the recipient, he probably won’t get a reply for hours to come, but Kihyun pushes that thought to the back of his mind and returns his focus to the auburn-haired guy who is currently in the process of taking Kihyun’s pants off with nimble fingers, teasingly toying with the hem of his boxer briefs.

“What did he send you this time?” Minhyuk asks with a smirk, tugging his pants and underwear down while looking up at his friend mischievously. Kihyun lifts his butt off the bed to help him getting himself undressed, while raising an eyebrow at Minhyuk.

“Now, you know that’s none of your business, Minhyukkie.” He tuts calmly, stretching his legs to kick his skinny jeans off, the other finally able to make himself comfortable between his thighs.

Minhyuk rolls his bright eyes at him and snorts pointedly to the side, before sending him a lazy smile, giving the head a good, yet teasing lick, making Kihyun groan. He follows up the movement with getting a hand on his half-hard dick, giving it a few experimental tugs before settling on a languid rhythm, fully aware of how it drives Kihyun mad with impatience and lust.

After tracing his tongue deftly along the pulsing purple vein on the underside of his erection, Minhyuk finally takes the length into his mouth, making Kihyun gasp, fisting his hand firmly into the other’s hair, his gaze intensely trained on what Minhyuk is doing.

His friend is an annoying asshole eighty percent of the time, which he has been since they first were introduced to each other ages ago, but he sure knows how to give good head.

He bites his lip as Minhyuk increases the tempo, maintaining a steady rhythm while he skilfully hollows out his cheeks, and Kihyun is seriously struggling not to buck his hips upwards. The pressure on his cock is incredible, and he already feels his orgasm building up.

“I’m close,” he pants, the hand that isn’t already entangled in Minhyuk’s hair, pushes his own bangs out of his face as he gasps, “Can you take it?”

Minhyuk hums affirmingly around his cock before taking him all the way in while his short, neat nails claw at Kihyun’s slender hips for leverage. The feeling of his head hitting the back of Minhyuk’s throat makes him come forcefully into his mouth with a loud moan. Keeping a tight grip on his hips, Minhyuk swallows it all, only pulling off for his pink tongue to lap at the tip to catch the remains before Kihyun’s cock becomes too sensitive for the action, making him push the other away. Minhyuk leans back on his hands, laughing at his friend as he regains his breath.

“Thanks, Minhyukkie.” Kihyun tells him in his usual composed manner.

Minhyuk grins at Kihyun’s nonchalance, running his fingers carefully through his bangs to straighten them out before getting off the bed. He goes over to the full-length mirror by the dresser to make sure Kihyun hasn’t messed up his hair too badly with his tight grip. He puckers his lips at his reflection, assessing the damage before suggestively running his tongue over his upper lip, admiring himself in the mirror. In Minhyuk’s defence, his mouth truly looks like a piece of art with those sinfully plump and luscious pink lips, and with a long-running experience of what they can do, he sees no need to complain at his best friend’s vanity.

“Any time, Kihyunnie.” He murmurs prettily in response, their eyes meeting in the reflection.

One of Kihyun’s favourite things about having a rather incestuous and ridiculously attractive friend group is the copious amount of sex they are able to have without needing to deal with any inconvenient and lasting consequences such as feelings and emotions.

Kihyun prefers to avoid these, or at least that is what he has been telling himself the past few years, quickly checking his phone for notifications, even though there have been no sounds coming from the device since he sent the last text. He pouts disapprovingly, getting off the bed, throwing his phone onto one of the soft pillows adorning it before he enters the en-suite bathroom to take a shower.

“I’m heading off now, good luck with the family reunion!” He hears Minhyuk’s voice shout through the sound of running water, before hearing the bedroom door go shut. _Family reunion_ , he thinks and scoffs as he lathers his baby-pink hair in expensive shampoo.

He is aware that his younger stepbrother is coming back to Korea to attend university in Seoul the following autumn and will therefore be spending the summer living with them, but that doesn’t mean he is looking forward to it.

Im Changkyun is possibly one of the most boring human beings Kihyun has ever met, having spent all his teenage years in some obscure religious boarding school in god-knows-where, maybe Europe, or was it in the States? Kihyun isn’t entirely sure, but to be fair, he does not really care either, although his mother has mentioned it more than a few times while bragging about her incredibly intelligent son who is studying abroad.

Her actual _blood-related_ son, as he has been quick to point out, is just as smart and has not needed some foreign boarding school to get into a top university, but as his mother is so fond of little Changkyun, it keeps falling to deaf ears and Kihyun has learned to just ignore her when she babbles on about his stepbrother’s latest test results or his other academic achievements.

Their parents will be away for the summer, leaving for Singapore in a few days to celebrate their five-year anniversary, which Kihyun finds somewhat ironic as Changkyun has returned to Seoul this early mainly to spend some long-awaited quality time with his parents. He wonders if the younger is aware of the situation, and if he will act in his usual stick-in-the-mud manner even with the grown-ups out of the house and a lack of exam material to study for.

Kihyun has grand plans for this summer which will go through, _with or without the consent of Im Changkyun_ , he thinks to himself as he carefully rinses his hair in the hot stream before turning the water off.

Shortly after, a tinny moan is heard from inside the bedroom and Kihyun hurries out to locate his phone. He rubs his nose subconsciously, as it has started to itch again, before unlocking his phone to a new message notification, but instead of it being the man he is craving an answer from, the name of the sender says mother. The text is merely a reminder of Changkyun arriving right about now and that they are going out to her favourite Japanese restaurant to celebrate his arrival the moment he shows up. _Dress accordingly,_ the message finishes, and Kihyun huffs, throwing his phone back down onto the bed.

Opening the doors to his expansive wardrobe, he decides on a white, loose-fitting shirt with a wide neckline which delicately shows off his collarbones, matched with a pair of fashionably ripped black skinny jeans held up by a thick leather belt. After finishing with the clothes, he puts his two favourite rings on his middle and ring fingers and holds his hand out in front of him to admire them.

They are both beautiful sliver bands gifted by his father. The first he got when he graduated from high school scoring the highest results on the entrance exam in his year. The other he received when he was accepted into the Business Administration programme at Seoul National University two years prior.

To finish up, he puts on some light makeup to complete the look and gives himself as satisfied once-over. Grabbing his phone to take a few mirror-selcas, he grins as he sends a particularly good one to the group chat, where the lighting hit just right, adding the caption “ _looking like a whole snack for no good reason, plans for later?_ ”

Shoving the phone into the back pocket of his jeans, he walks over to the beautifully ornate gold case placed on top of his dark cherry wood desk where he keeps his stash of cigarettes and other substances his stepfather frowns upon and mother remains blissfully ignorant about, to grab a thin, white bitch-stick, as Hoseok insists on calling them.

Kihyun rather enjoys the slim cigarettes, looking aesthetically pleasing between his fingers as he slowly inhales on the balcony, exhaling the white smoke into the chilly evening air. The city seems almost small from up here, but he knows better, having been brought up on the busy streets of Seoul, knowing the extensiveness of the city, both geographically and culturally. Studying the ground beneath him, he spots a fancy sports car outside the entrance, similar to the one his stepfather likes to show off in.

A nondescript man gets out of the car from the driver side, opening the boot to fetch a large, black suitcase, while another, shorter male steps out from the passenger side to help the other out. The first one hands over the keys to the building’s valet and Kihyun figures it must be the Ims who have arrived from the airport, as they use the valet service instead of parking the car themselves, being short on time.

He quickly finishes his cigarette and enters his room again to apply some cologne before heading downstairs to the living room. Checking his phone as he walks, he laughs at the replies from his friends, ranging from the genuine appreciation of his sense of style from Hyungwon to the usual outrageous comments from Minhyuk and Lisa. Only Hyunwoo has answered his question, telling him to join them for drinks later.

Walking down the stairs into the main living room, he sees his mother already seated on one of the charcoal armchairs, sipping her artisan coffee from a small porcelain cup. Rubbing discretely at his nose again, he walks over to her to sit down, leaning back into the stiff material of the chair opposite of her.

She puts the cup down gently before mirroring her son’s posture, though sitting up with her back straight as she normally does, and stares deeply into Kihyun’s eyes with a soft smile. He knows what’s coming and that the calm demeanour of his mother is nothing but a façade.

“You better be on your best behaviour when your brother is here.” She says sweetly while maintaining eye contact. “He is younger than you, and although he’s a smart boy, he is only 19 and highly impressionable.”

She pauses, as if to give Kihyun some time to mull over the words, leaving him instead to count backwards from ten to keep his composure in check. _Highly impressionable,_ he thinks to himself, scoffing on the inside. The comment seems innocent enough, but he senses the underlying threat, and as he knows better than to talk back to his mother, he keeps his composure in check, forcing a strained smile to show her the message has been received.

“Of course, mother. Anything for our Changkyunnie.” He coos.

She gives him a sharp look, slightly narrowing her eyes before the expression is instantly replaced by a fond smile aimed at her son. The sound of the digital lock on the front door sounds throughout the otherwise silent apartment, and she excitedly gets to her feet to greet her husband and stepson, her face lighting up making her look at least ten years younger. _As long as she is happy_ , Kihyun thinks to himself sighing, and gets up from his chair to greet the newcomers.

***

“Changkyun? You were asked a question.”

Being brought back into the conversation by his dad’s stern voice, he smiles gently at his stepmother and politely asks her if she could please repeat the question. Having travelled for over 20 hours, with the first flight from Boston being delayed by over two hours and the usual traffic from Incheon airport being unbearably slow, he is feeling positively drained and exhausted, the fancy restaurant dinner not making his situation any easier. He barely even had time to change into his dark jeans and black t-shirt from his travelling wear before having to leave for the reservation. Despite this, he wouldn’t want to disappoint his parents on his first day back in Korea after not having seen either of them for ages.

He is seated opposite of Kihyun, who hasn’t looked up from his phone since they finished the main course about half an hour ago, looking downright bored with the entire situation.

The last time they met was in the summer almost two years ago, a few days between Changkyun’s arrival from the States after finishing his sophomore year and Kihyun’s departure for a graduation trip with some of his friends. With Kihyun always celebrating New Years, Chuseok and Seollal with his father, which coincidently have been the only times Changkyun has been able to return to Korea to see his own family, their paths have never really crossed since their parents tied the knot four years ago.

He was also busy focusing on his studies every time Kihyun was around, and with the whole 3-year age-gap thing going on, he figured his stepbrother deemed him irrelevant and too young to matter either way. Changkyun didn’t mind it too much back then as he had been busy earning his grades which would later gain him acceptance from Yonsei to study Biochemistry in the city where his family lived. Having spent most of his life living abroad, he has been looking forward to finally be able to speak his mother-tongue again in a more natural setting and to see more of his father, who has led a busy life in the city being the head scientist of a major research institution based here in Seoul.

After answering his stepmother’s question in a satisfactory manner, he sips more of his green tea which is still scalding, burning his tongue a bit. A yawn escapes from his mouth as he puts the cup down, attempting to quickly cover it with his hand. He looks up as Kihyun is about to get up from his seat, grabbing his oversized leather jacket from the back of his chair.

“Jooheon just texted me that he is outside, so I’m afraid I am going to have to leave this little party.” He states, the saccharine tone colouring his voice not quite matching the apologetic words.

“Why don’t you take Changkyun with you?” His stepmother exclaims brightly. Kihyun’s expression remains unchanged, but Changkyun notices his right eye twitch slightly.

“That is a great idea,” his dad agrees and turns towards him. “You don’t know anyone outside of the family in the city yet, so why not use this opportunity to befriend a few people?”

Changkyun is about to decline the perfunctory invitation, but Kihyun beats him to it.

“Although that is a _great_ suggestion, Mr. Im, I think Changkyun has been looking very tired since he arrived, and I wouldn’t want to bother him with more socializing tonight.” He says formally, with an overly sweet voice. “It’s not like he won’t be seeing them around anyways.” His father sends Kihyun a pointed look, while his stepmother on the other hand, looks at her son with such fondness in her eyes.

“That is so considerate of you, Kiki.” She coos as Kihyun’s eye twitches again, seemingly cringing at the use of the childish nickname. “You invite them over for a dinner party after we return in August and I will organize everything. It has been much too long since I last saw some of them, especially Son Hyunwoo.”

For the first time that evening, Kihyun smiles genuinely with his gaze significantly softening at the mention of his friend. Changkyun observes the drastic change of his expression with light amusement when his stepmother’s words finally sink in, tearing him away from watching Kihyun, leaving Changkyun deeply confused and with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Return in August?” he repeats questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“Changkyun, we forgot to tell you,” his father replies, answering for his wife. “We have decided to travel to Singapore to celebrate our first five years together.” He continues, gazing lovingly at the woman sitting opposite him, grabbing hold of her petite hand across the table.

“We will be leaving early Friday morning, which is why I wanted you here this early, so that we could least get to spend a few days with you. It will be a great opportunity for the two of you to bond as well, and to learn from each other. I know that Kihyun certainly could learn some things from you, behaviour-wise.” He finishes with the snide remark, much to Changkyun’s dismay.

Kihyun leers viciously back at him, making Changkyun cower in his chair, his head hanging low between his shoulders. He’d rather not be involved in the spats between Kihyun and his dad, knowing that the two have never really seen eye to eye and neither of them being inclined to back down from an argument. Changkyun is also way too tired to deal with this right now.

Taking the stare-off as a queue to leave, Kihyun places a kiss on his mother’s cheek before reluctantly heading off, leaving the three of them to nurse their post-meal beverages without him present. Changkyun lets out a breath he didn’t realize he has been holding in, before spotting a black, thin square next to Kihyun’s empty cup which previously contained an overpriced matcha latte.

He reaches over the table to pick it up, the screen coming to life displaying one unread message from a contact named “Mr. Idol”, which has no profile picture attached. He eyes it curiously before his parents notice the phone in his hand and his father tells him to run to catch Kihyun before he leaves the place.

He picks up the speed, lightly jogging towards the entrance of the restaurant. He spots the owner of the phone standing outside by a black SUV with tinted windows, about to get into the backseat. He runs the last leg down to the sidewalk, but unfortunately Kihyun is now already inside the car, forcing Changkyun to knock sheepishly on the car window with one hand, waving the phone in front of the dark pane with the other. Slowly, the window lowers, revealing the dusky pink hair of his stepbrother **,** his usual unamused stare donning his face.

“You left it at the table.” He says a little breathlessly as he holds the phone out for Kihyun to take, the exhaustion catching up to him. _This really has been the longest_ _day_ , he thinks to himself.

Kihyun quickly grabs his phone, mumbling a cursory _thanks_ in reply. The window then closes immediately after as the car drives off into the still-busy evening traffic, leaving Changkyun nonplussed on the pavement at the brevity of the exchange. _You’re welcome_ , he sighs to himself, wondering how the summer will turn out if Kihyun keeps being this cold towards him, and walks wearily back to the building.

***

The blonde who is already sitting in the backseat turns eagerly in her seat to take another look at Changkyun as Jooheon drives off.

“I think I’m going to have to make you bring me here sometime, oppa.” she tells him with the usual playful lilt to her voice, making Kihyun look up at his friend with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, if the waiters are as attractive as that guy.”

He scoffs at Lisa’s comment. “Having just had dinner there, I’ll tell you that the waiting staff are all terribly below average looks-wise.” She lets out a giggle and Jooheon joins in, the description having grabbed his attention as well. “And the guy was my stepbrother, Changkyun, and sadly not just a waiter.”

“Oh! I had totally forgotten you had one of those.” Hoseok chimes in from the passenger seat.

“Well, I do, and I’ll be stuck with him for the rest of the summer, which is just _fantastic_ knowing that the kid has the personality of a dead goldfish.”

“Last time I saw him he definitely wasn’t this hot, though.” His friend teases, making Kihyun reach forward to slap the back of his head causing him to yelp loudly, the other two laughing along before Jooheon stops and berates them for the commotion, trying to focus on the oncoming traffic. Calming down and settling back into his seat, Kihyun sees the message notification on his lock screen, hastily unlocking his phone to see the reply, ignoring his friends for the time being to read it.

**From: Mr. Idol**

_I’m busy, sorry_

Kihyun swallows thickly and pauses, wondering whether to write a snarky reply or just leave him on read. _You’re always busy, aren’t you?_

As he pushes the button to lock his phone again, the screen lights up to the sound of the usual moan. The others laugh at the familiar notification sound and continue their light chatter as Kihyun opens the new message.

**From: Mr. Idol**

_I miss you_

_Writing that won’t make me miss you any less, you fucking idiot_ , he thinks, although his heart flutters slightly inside his chest at the three simple words. He takes a second to reply with his signature yellow heart, before locking his phone and joining in the ongoing conversation on the current state of Jooheon’s hair, which in Kihyun’s opinion definitely needs a touch-up, its dark roots clearly visible under the powder-white locks.

Shortly after, they arrive outside of Hyunwoo’s high-rise and get out of the car as Jooheon hands his keys to the valet. They head into the lobby to take the elevator up to the 63rd floor, politely greeting the guards by the entrance who mechanically bow at the group as they pass.

Kihyun attentively scans his reflection when he’s inside the elevator, re-applying some of the lip tint that had disappeared during the meal and smacks his lips. Lisa is next to him doing the same thing, smoothing out her skirt and making sure her bucket hat is sitting right on her head.

It has become some sort of ritual for them through the years, the lighting in the elevator in addition to the time it takes getting up to Hyunwoo’s floor serving as a perfect time-space for them to touch up their appearances. He cards his fingers through his hair one last time as the elevator comes to a halt and they all exit, walking over to the front door lead by Jooheon who taps the well-known code to let them in.

Kihyun steps out of his biker boots and into the pair of comfy slippers he keeps at the apartment. Spending almost as much time here as he does in his own home, it had seemed only practical to have a pair here as well.

Moving into the living room, he spots Minhyuk reclined in one of the cedar-coloured couches with a familiar brunette perched on his lap despite there being plenty of room available next to him. Jisoo, clad in a lovely sky-blue shirt dress, is laughing brightly at something Hyunwoo said, the other man comfortably sprawled out on the sofa next to theirs. Their chatter ceases almost immediately as they discover the newly arrived guests.

Hyunwoo swiftly spots Kihyun, a wide smile breaks out on his face as he gets to his feet to greet him. Their eyes meet, turning Kihyun’s apathetic expression into a soft smile as he feels the warm embrace of the strong arms around his waist. He pulls back and tilts his face up to place a light kiss on Hyunwoo’s full lips, resting one palm on the broad chest right above his heart.

“Hyung...” he murmurs.

“How was dinner?” Hyunwoo asks him, his hand reaching up to knead the nape of Kihyun’s neck. Leaning into the gentle touch, he sighs slowly, not wanting to think about the burden of a stepbrother he has on his last evening of complete freedom from Im Changkyun.

He ignores Hyunwoo’s questioning look as he frees himself from the embrace and heads over to the fridge to help himself to a chilled beer.

“Where’s Hyungwonnie?” Lisa asks the room, having realized that the usual crowd is missing their tallest member.

“He has a magazine shoot tonight, so he won’t make it.” Jooheon responds, being a responsible driver and sipping his glass of water. “But he’ll definitely make it to the party on Friday, though!”

As he hears the news, Kihyun scratches his nose, pulling his phone out from his pocket to send off a discreet message to the guy who is absent, still leaning on the kitchen island.

**To: Meme Hyungwon**

_How’s the shoot? Are the pictures looking good?_

_Also_

_Can you hook me up for Friday?_

_:)_

Before putting his phone away again, he can sense a pair of eyes on him. He looks up to meet Jooheon’s curious gaze and quickly puts his phone away, taking a large sip from his beer bottle.

“So, who exactly will be there Friday?” Minhyuk asks Kihyun excitedly from the couch.

“The real question is rather “is your hot brother going to be there?”” Hoseok interjects and grins.

“ _Step_ brother,” Kihyun retorts, “and I guess, probably, unless he decides to hide away in his room all night.” Thinking of Changkyun’s reserved personality, he definitely won’t put it past him to do just that.

“You _have_ to make him come, oppa,” Lisa pouts, looking pleadingly at Kihyun with her puppy-dog eyes.

“I don’t even know if it will be worth it. My mother even sat me down earlier to tell me all about how Changkyun is young and highly impressionable, and I don’t need any more shit from his dad either.” He explains, pulling a face and fakes a shiver down his spine before sauntering over to the sofas to sit down. Hoseok grabs his arm as he passes to pull him sideways down onto his lap.

“But just look at him and think about it,” he purrs, his palm slowly stroking Kihyun’s thigh, “Wouldn’t it be hot to have that underneath you? I mean…Brothers…I would have so much fun with the two of you.” He grabs hold of the thigh now, as if to emphasise his words, making Kihyun snort with a small laugh. If Changkyun is going to be around all summer, he might as well make it interesting.

“Fine, let’s make a game out of it,” he starts with a smirk and sits up in Hoseok’s lap, looking around at his friends who are attentively watching him. “500 000 won to whoever fucks him first.”

The room erupts in laughter and Hoseok looks over at an excited-looking Lisa before glancing towards Minhyuk and Jisoo, whose faces are gleaming cunningly. “You’re on, guys.” He tells the crowd self-assured, with the guys scoffing at his confidence.

Kihyun avoids Hyunwoo’s stare as he knows he is looking at him disapprovingly, never having been interested in Kihyun’s schemes. He instead meets Minhyuk’s eyes from across the room, who winks at him.

“I’ll have him eating out of my palm in no time.” He states with his signature grin, making Kihyun laugh loudly, looking forward to Friday with renewed fervour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts, and thank you for reading!


	2. Bad Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter got way too long so I had to split it into two parts.  
> I hope you'll like it! Enjoy!

The next couple of days pass too rapidly for Changkyun’s liking. He spends most of the days with his dad at the research facility he works at, which Changkyun thoroughly enjoys as his father is working in the same field of biochemistry that he wants to specialize in at Yonsei. The evenings are a little more taxing as his stepmother has demanded that they have family dinner accompanied by family quality time afterwards, which is as uncomfortable as it sounds. Kihyun has practically been glued to his phone and when forced to put it away, he has shot down any attempt at starting conversation by Changkyun with short and snappy responses, leaving the other discouraged.

 _At least the house is incredible_ , Changkyun thinks. With its Gangnam location and penthouse view, it is obvious that there is a lot of money circulating within the Yoo and Im family. Kihyun’s mother is after all a second-generation chaebol and has spent most of her life in the profitable limelight; first and foremost, as a daughter of the founder of one of the largest and most powerful conglomerates in the world, but also as a famous and successful actress before marrying Kihyun’s dad and settling down to have a kid and remarrying his own father afterwards.

The money is also visible in her son, whose wardrobe seemed to be filled to the brim with expensive and exclusive clothes and whose attitude exudes an air of privilege and fortune. Additionally, with his father being some kind of media mogul, Kihyun certainly has never had any money issues. Changkyun bets that if really Kihyun wanted to, he wouldn’t have to work a day in his life.

Although Changkyun wouldn’t consider himself poor by any means, his clothes and stuff are far less extravagant than Kihyun’s, as he’s never really been interested in fashion or luxury items. Most days he wears all-black outfits with the occasional neutral coloured sweater or dark blue jeans. In the short time-span he has been staying in the apartment, Kihyun has already given him several disapproving once-overs at the outfits he has showed up in, his stepbrother seeming impossible to please.

Right now, he is in his room which is right next to Kihyun’s, the outer balcony shared between the two bedrooms. He flips through the first chapter of one of his course books for the upcoming semester as he is laying on his stomach in the middle of the queen-sized bed. The walls around him are plain and white, and although his stepmother has urged him to decorate and “make the space his own”, he hasn’t really felt like it.

The walls in his room at Andover had been covered to the brim in posters and pictures. He also had lots of small cactus plants in cute flower pots adorning the broad window sill, which had been a huge hit amongst his friends at the dorm, but somehow it didn’t feel right to furnish this room in the same way. Andover seems ages ago for Changkyun even though he left the school not even a week ago, and it leaves an empty feeling in his stomach.

Earlier they had said goodbye to their parents as they were going to leave at daybreak to catch their flight. He had received warm hugs from both, with his dad making him promise to call him if anything happened, his stare pointedly glancing over to Kihyun. He had promised to do so with a reassuring smile, placating his father’s worries for the time being. His stepmother had told them to take care of each other, which her son sincerely told her they would. Afterwards, he had walked back to his room and ended up in his current position.

He has just turned on the newest Childish Gambino single, blasting it from his Bluetooth speakers making him reminisce about America when he hears two short raps on the door. It opens to reveal Kihyun, who leans on the doorframe to observe Changkyun a bit before opening his mouth to speak.

“Hey,” he starts, “We’re having a party here tomorrow.”

Changkyun leans over towards his phone to pause the music. “Okay?”

“Yeah…I just thought you should know. You can help me with the preparations, if you want.” He simply states, but Changkyun sees this more as an outstretched hand than anything.

“Sure!” he responds enthusiastically, making the other smile,

“Alright then, I’ll see you in the morning.” He says, effectively ending the conversation by closing the door behind him as he exits, leaving Changkyun grinning to himself.

 _Maybe me and Kihyun can be friends after all_ , he thinks and turns the music back on again.

***

The following day, Changkyun rises early as per usual, his sleeping schedule still a bit unbalanced with the 13-hour time difference from Boston, so he decides to stay in bed a little longer. After two hours of listening to music and reading up on the latest headlines from his news apps, he gets out of bed and walks out into the hallway clad only in his pyjamas.

The door to Kihyun’s room is still closed, which is expected as his stepbrother seems to prefer to sleep in most days. The apartment is silent with the only sounds heard being the muted noise of the traffic coming from the busy streets far below them, and he remembers they are alone now. Him and Kihyun, and the occasional maid to clean and cook when they need them to.

He decides to have a walk around before breakfast, peeking into the rooms he hasn’t been able to explore himself yet. All the bedrooms are upstairs and uninteresting to Changkyun, so he decides to start on the first floor of the apartment.

Opening the doors to the main balcony, there is a small swimming pool with sunbeds and a jacuzzi, these features another staple of the wealth of the family. Changkyun would love to take a morning swim right now, but he doesn’t own a pair of trunks in this country and he doesn’t want to wake Kihyun just to ask him if he can borrow some either. The kitchen and living room he’s already familiar with, so he goes upstairs again.

He is silently entering his father’s study and library when he spots a beautiful black grand piano on the other side of the room by the large floor-to-ceiling window. He hasn’t touched a piano in ages, but he finds it easy to fall back into his old abilities once he starts playing. He does some rolled chords to warm up before proceeding into a slow, mellow version of DEAN’s “instagram”, his voice still a bit rough with sleep.

After having played for a while, he’s halfway through Miss A’s “Bad Girl, Good Girl” when he feels another presence in the room. He looks up towards the doorway and sees Kihyun standing there, much like he did yesterday in the doorway to Changkyun’s room. He is looking at Changkyun with an amused expression, only wearing a silky white robe.

“You should do “Ice Cream Cake” next.” He proposes, making Changkyun smile.

“I think the chorus will be too high for me no matter how much I transpose down the chords.”

“It was merely a suggestion,” Kihyun shrugs, “I’m making breakfast now if you’re hungry.”

Changkyun lights up at the thought of food, and this new, kinder side to Kihyun that he is seeing. “Great, thanks! I’ll be right down.” He says and watches as Kihyun disappears from the room.

Right after, Changkyun picks up his phone to google the chords to “Ice Cream Cake” and tries to play the song a few times before heading down to the kitchen.

As he enters the room, he immediately senses the smell of fried eggs filling the air.

“I’m making us egg toast. If you don’t like it, you’re welcome to make your own breakfast.” Kihyun informs him, putting two plates down at the end of the large dining table. He is quick to respond that egg toast is more than okay and helps Kihyun set the rest of the table for the two of them.

They eat in silence, Changkyun only speaking up to compliment Kihyun on the dish, making the other smile.

“I’ve always loved cooking. I even used to make the maids teach me how to make some dishes.”

Changkyun grins at that, picturing a young Kihyun nagging the kitchen help to allow him to use the appliances.

Suddenly, a male moan is heard throughout the otherwise quiet apartment. Changkyun blushes, feeling his ears redden and heat up. Kihyun raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow as he huffs mockingly and rubs at his nose before walking over to his phone which is charging on the kitchen counter.

“It’s just my message tone, chill.” He jibes, making Changkyun feel stupid for his reaction. Kihyun stills after that, reading the new message and quickly replying, his expression turning more serious. He’s on his phone for a while longer before pocketing it, adjusting the sleeves of his robe and turns towards Changkyun.

“So, I’m going to have to leave soon.” He begins. “I have an appointment in Gangdong-gu, but don’t worry, I’ll be back before the party. All you have to do is answer the phone and open the door when the reception sends up the alcohol delivery and get yourself ready on time.”

Changkyun simply nods, his mouth stuffed with toast. The instructions seem easy enough, but he still feels a little sad that Kihyun won’t be here, the two of them having got off to a good start this morning with the easy chatter and Kihyun slowly warming up to him.

Although he has more than half of his food left on the plate, Kihyun bins it and leaves to go upstairs to get ready for his meeting. Changkyun trails him with his eyes, before concentrating again on the food in front of him. He finishes up and takes their plates over to the sink to do the dishes, an act more out of habit than anything, and makes sure the rest of the kitchen is spotless before settling down in the living room, fiddling with his phone.

After a little while, Kihyun reappears downstairs, his pink hair looking professionally tousled and his eyes large and golden brown from the contact lenses he has put in. His outfit is uncharacteristically anonymous, jeans and a sweater with a long coat covering it, matched with a fashionable face mask, all of it black. If Changkyun didn’t spot the intricate silver zipper detailing on the neck of the sweater, he might have thought Kihyun has dressed up to stalk someone or something equally suspicious. Then again, the bright pink hair would be a dead giveaway for anyone who knows who Kihyun is.

Changkyun is about compliment him on the outfit, but he gets cut off by a short “bye!” before the door slowly shuts behind Kihyun’s retreating form. He sighs to himself before heading upstairs to get a book from his father’s library and settling down onto one of the sunbeds outside to read and enjoy the lovely summer weather.

***

A few hours later, Kihyun finds himself on the roof terrace of a coffee shop in Hongdae. His meeting was much briefer than he hoped for, cut short by a surprise dance practice video filming.

He is well aware that there is no such thing as a “surprise” video filming when it comes to the idol industry, the schedules being meticulously organized and well-planned for all occasions. He has had experience with them from when Hyunwoo and Jooheon were trainees themselves, which is how he knows, but Kihyun tries to push the knowledge to the back of his mind and ignore it.

The heavy make-out session and unreciprocated blowjob, in addition to the shortness of the meet-up in general has left him unsatisfied and agitated, but as it was too early to be spotted at a bar, he decided to go shopping instead, to hopefully make himself feel better.

After getting a brand-new, sexy outfit for the evening, he quickly left the store as he received strange looks from the shop attendants, most likely because of the purple love bite marks clearly visible on his neck. Incredibly unprofessional from the store’s side, but for once he didn’t have the energy to say something about it.

From the store, he went straight to one of his favourite cafés, its roof terrace a perfect place for someone wanting to be left alone. Stirring mindlessly in his matcha latte, he frowns at the cup before pulling out a small stainless-steel flask from the inside of his coat and pours a fair amount of liquid into his drink. He keeps on stirring before taking a swig from the now lukewarm beverage. The bitter taste mixes badly with the already bitter latte, but he swallows it all down and exhales.

As more time passes, the flask slowly empties and Kihyun is feeling marginally better than he did earlier. He leaves a more-than-generous tip for the barista in the tip jar on his way out and gets a taxi back to the apartment.

He avoids the stare the doorman gives him as he passes without acknowledging him and doesn’t realize his name is being called from the front desk until he has reached the elevators.

“Yoo Kihyun-ssi, I am sorry to interrupt you, but would you mind signing for your delivery now? We have attempted contacting your residence several times in the past hour with no response, as we were told there would be someone there, but we did not realize you were away. Our apologies for mistaking your whereabouts.” The receptionist explains in a sincere voice, bowing deeply as Kihyun’s eyes narrow at the words.

He takes a deep breath and rubs at his nose harshly with the back of his hand before putting his shopping bags down on the ground next to the reception desk.

“Where do I sign?” he says, his voice stable and calm as he has been taught. The receptionist hands over a form and points at three different places where Kihyun adds his neat signature, though it is slightly unstable at the moment due to his current state of light inebriety.

The employee takes the form back and bows at Kihyun again, handing it off to another employee who is probably dealing with the delivery itself. Smiling politely with a small bow to the receptionist, Kihyun collects his things and strides over to the elevator to head upstairs.

His anger hasn’t subdued when he arrives at the penthouse. Tearing the door open, he looks around for the useless kid. _I asked him to do_ one _thing and he couldn’t even do that,_ he storms, _what a fucking airhead_.

After not finding him downstairs, he leaves for the bedrooms, but Changkyun is nowhere to be found. He puts the shopping bags in his room for him to change into later and tries to think of places where the younger could be hiding.

He goes downstairs again to get some fresh air outside on the terrace and spots a sleeping form crawled up with a book covering his face on one of the sunbeds. Striding over to his stepbrother, he aggressively kicks the bed frame hard, startling the other as he jolts awake.

“Oh, Kihyun, you’re back already.” he says, his voice muddled by sleep. Changkyun notices the glare Kihyun is sending him and immediately sits up straight.

“Already? I’ve been out for hours, but so have apparently you.”

Changkyun’s eyes widen, and he’s about to open his mouth to apologize when Kihyun lifts his hand to stop him.

“Don’t bother. Just go get ready, hopefully you’ll be able to do that without fucking up.”

His voice is steely, just like the glare, and he turns on his heel to walk back inside, leaving Changkyun staring at the ground.

The doorbell rings, and Kihyun opens and leads the way for the building employees to leave the crates of beer and soju in the kitchen. He has ordered a large amount of booze to make sure they won’t run out as the evening progresses. As he is dealing with the delivery, he hears soft steps hurry upstairs, but ignores Changkyun for the time being.

He thanks the employees after making sure everything is in order and pops open a bottle of soju to grab a drink after they leave. Not bothering with a glass, he takes a sip from the bottle, the taste stinging his throat as per usual, but after having slightly sobered up with the anger directed at Changkyun, he needs to get something in his system to calm down.

Kihyun is feeling restless, his fingers won’t stop tapping the counter at an erratic pace and his nose keeps itching. He doesn’t have much of an appetite either, making do with the soju in front of him. Picking up his phone from where he has left it on the counter, he sends off a quick message to the group chat, with a picture of the crates attached.

**To: F4**

_[IMG-WA0514.jpg]_

_Come play_

**From: Bunny**

_We'll be there in like an hour!_

_Just finishing up rn_

**From: (Joo)Honey**

_Finishin up wht?_

**From: Bunny**

_[IMG-WA0301.jpg]_

**To: F4**

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

_I almost didn’t recognize  
Hyungwon from that angle_

_Almost_

**From: Bunny**

_;)_

**From: Royal Maknae**

_Is he gonna DJ tonight, Hoseok-oppa???_

**From: Bunny**

_He says yes_

**From: Royal Maknae**

_＼_ _(_ _＾_ _▽_ _＾_ _)_ _／_

**From: Mr. Visual**

_I l o v e that angle_

_also, yay for dj h.one_ (*°▽°*)

_see u soooooon_

Kihyun laughs and puts his phone away, instantly feeling better. Taking another swig from the bottle, he leaves it on the counter next to his phone and goes upstairs to take a shower to get ready for the party. _At least my friends are fucking great_ , he muses and smiles to himself.

***

After his upsetting encounter with Kihyun, Changkyun slinks upstairs to his room, not understanding how he could have fallen asleep and slept _all_ day. It all feels like a massive step backwards, no matter how small the progress he had made with Kihyun earlier was, and the only one to blame is himself and the stupid jetlag.

Throwing himself down on the bed, he huffs and throws his dad’s book and his wolf plushie down on the floor exasperatedly. He leaves it there for a minute before feeling bad and putting the wolf back on the bed amongst the pillows, petting its fur softly before going over to his still not completely unpacked suitcase and pulling out some shirts, looking for an appropriate outfit for the night. As Kihyun hasn’t told him a lot about the party, he is just going to go for a casual look, like he’d dress for the dorm parties back at Andover, with a cool graphic tee combined with black tight jeans and some pretty silver earrings.

Before getting dressed, he decides to grab a long shower. His favourite feature of the bedroom is definitely the large en-suite bathroom in marble and white. It makes him think of the shared bathrooms back at the dorms which he definitely did not miss, and revels in having his own space. Afterwards, he puts the rings in his ears and styles his hair carefully, his black bangs prettily tousled and wavy, covering his forehead.

Taking his time getting dressed in the outfit he laid out, he finishes off with some light lip tint to make his complexion a bit brighter as he wants to make a good first impression on Kihyun’s friends.

On the note of Kihyun’s friends, Changkyun hears the doorbell chime and suddenly feels anxious. He’s not feeling ready to meet anyone yet, no matter how friendly they might be. He drags it out as long as he can, but eventually decides to leave his room and stands at the top of the stairs to survey the party.

He quickly spots Kihyun laughing on the sofa surrounded by people, with a gorgeous girl sitting on his lap, her straight hair long and blonde with bangs almost reaching her hooded eyes, giving off a foreign look.

Next to them, there’s a handsome guy with dark red, almost purplish hair, wearing a tight, white shirt which accentuates his tight body. The guy looks up that exact moment to meet Changkyun’s eyes and he grins playfully.

Changkyun can’t help but smile back, bashfully lowering his gaze, deciding that it’s time to join the party. Kihyun still hasn’t noticed him, but he makes his way over to where he is seated, standing awkwardly to the side and waiting for Kihyun to see him. More and more people are arriving now, filling the living room with chatter which mixes perfectly with the ambience created by the soft music playing in the background.

The auburn-haired guy who met Changkyun’s eyes earlier hasn’t let the boy out of his sight yet, still eying and smiling at him softly from where he’s seated in the group. Giving Kihyun a slight nudge, making him shift the girl in his lap to focus on the guy, he finally speaks up.

“So Kihyunnie, aren’t you going to introduce us?” he says, his face bright and beautiful.

Kihyun looks up at Changkyun, his expression changing completely from the relaxed look to one of annoyance.

“What the hell are you wearing,” he seethes lowly with eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you trying to make me look bad in front of my friends?”

Changkyun gulps and looks down, feeling humiliated.

“Oppa, stop being a such a dick, he looks fine!” the girl scolds Kihyun and looks at Changkyun who meets her eyes with a sheepish, yet grateful look. The other guy nods in agreement.

“I think he looks great, actually.” Another guy with white-blonde hair seated on a chair next to them chirps, grinning at Changkyun, making him feel warm on the inside.

Kihyun looks suspiciously between his friends before sliding the girl off his lap onto the couch and standing up.

“Well, before I take you upstairs, I guess I’ll introduce you,” he mutters, tugging at his leather choker and adjusting his dark satin shirt which has its four upper buttons open, exposing most of his chest. “Guys, this is my stepbrother, Changkyun.”

The little group all smile at him, waving and saying hi. Then, Changkyun feels a tight grip on his arm and is dragged away from the people. “Hey, let go of me!”

Kihyun ignores his words and tugs him up the stairs and into his own room, with Changkyun struggling behind him. “It hurts, Kihyun!”

Pulling him over to his closet, he pauses and turns to Changkyun, still holding his arm firmly in his grasp. “I’ll stop if you change your fucking shirt. Who the fuck wears a graphic tee to a party, what are you, twelve?”

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it, Kihyun” Changkyun sputters, “Just let go of me, please.”

Kihyun finally loses his grip on him and turns to rifle through his shirt rack. “Just be happy that we’re about the same size.”

He pulls out a thin dusky pink shirt with long sleeves and throws it at him. “You should be able to pull of the whole baby boy aesthetic pretty well.” He tells him, inspecting the jeans and shoes. “The rest we can work with. Now, change.” Kihyun demands callously.

Changkyun’s eyes widen at the garment, which is much lighter-coloured than anything he has in his own closet and far away from his usual style choice. He looks back up at Kihyun, who’s standing there, arms crossed and waiting for him to change.

Suddenly, there’s a small knock on the door and it opens to reveal the auburn-haired guy from before, the one with the bright smile.

“Hyungwon and Hoseok just arrived, and Hyungwon is asking for you, Kihyun.”

Kihyun’s eyes light up at that and without a word, he rapidly exits the room. This volatile behaviour is making Changkyun incredibly stressed, but he takes a deep breath and tries to shake it off.

“Hey, Changkyun, right?” the other guy asks, still lingering in the doorway. Changkyun nods and takes a seat on the bed. The guy seems to take that as a sign to enter the room, and he walks over to sit down next to Changkyun. “I just wanted to check on you if you were alright after Kihyunnie’s little outburst earlier. He always gets a little irrational after his meetings.”

Changkyun appreciates the gesture of reassurance, especially from a guy as attractive as this one. “I’m fine, just not used to having a brother yet, I guess.”

The other chuckles at that. “I’m Minhyuk, by the way.” He finally introduces himself. “What are you holding?”

Changkyun looks down at the shirt in his hands, the fabric incredibly soft between his fingers. “It’s just the shirt Kihyun wanted me to change into.” Minhyuk purses his lips before pulling his lower one into his mouth in a contemplating manner.

“I still think you look good with what you have on, though. It’s very street-style.” He compliments, and Changkyun can feel his cheeks turning red.

“Thanks, but Kihyun didn’t seem to think it was “chic” enough for his party.” He says and spots a drink in Minhyuk’s hands. “Can I have some?”

Minhyuk grins even wider and offers him the glass. “Have at it.”

Changkyun takes the drink from him and downs it in one go, cringing at the taste and handing it back to Minhyuk when he’s finished. He starts pulling his t-shirt off, and Minhyuk follows his actions, gazing appreciatively at the exposed smooth skin of Changkyun’s torso. Placing the glass down on the floor, Minhyuk leans back on his arms on the bed, his shirt pulling tightly over his delicate shoulders.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Changkyun?” he asks, his voice now sultry, making Changkyun fluster. “Being holed up in a dorm, surrounded by guys so far away from home must have made you restless…”

“No!” he exclaims before flushing at his own outburst. “I mean no, no boyfriend, and the dorms were mixed and full of all kinds of people, both guys and girls from all kinds of countries. I guess it looked good for Andover to be progressive and promote diversity and all that.” he rants, trailing off at the end when he meets Minhyuk’s amused stare.

“So, you’ve kissed a lot of girls then?”

Changkyun feels his face redden even more, the colour probably spreading down his exposed chest as well, to Minhyuk’s delight. “Of course, I have.” He mumbles and starts folding his old t-shirt, places it on the bed next to Minhyuk.

“Did you like it?”

“It was good.” Changkyun answers hesitantly, not sure where Minhyuk is going with this.

“How about boys?” Minhyuk asks, watching Changkyun fiddle with the buttons on the pink shirt, remaining silent as he walks over to Kihyun’s mirror.

Minhyuk gets up and follows him, slowing to a rest behind Changkyun with the mirror facing them.

“Your body is so nice, all lean muscle,” he murmurs, trailing his fingers lightly down Changkyun’s side, making him shiver to the touch. “Are you a runner, swimmer, dancer...?” he asks, pausing meaningfully between each word, looking up to meet Changkyun’s eyes in the reflection.

“Yeah, I was on the dance team back at Andover.” He manages to say without stuttering.

“I can imagine.”

With that, Minhyuk shifts his hands to grasp Changkyun’s hips gently on top of his jeans, pulling his body into his own and resting his chin on Changkyun’s shoulder.

“So, have you?” he purrs, his bright eyes maintaining eye-contact, the intense gaze not allowing Changkyun to look anywhere else.

“Have I what?” Changkyun questions, feeling his pulse quicken.

“Kissed a boy.” Minhyuk breathily whispers into his ear, making Changkyun freeze. He quickly recovers and tries putting the shirt on, before feeling his body being spun around to face the other, the action making him drop the item.

With one hand still resting on Changkyun’s hip, the other sneaks up to cradle his cheek, the skin feeling just as soft as Minhyuk imagined, making Changkyun tilt his head to look up into Minhyuk’s warm, caring gaze. He’s shivering at Minhyuk’s touch, his breath coming quickly as the air is filled with exhilarating tension. Minhyuk’s eyes flicker down to his lips, pulling his own into his mouth and slowly releasing it before inching forward to capture Changkyun’s own in a careful, brushing kiss.

Minhyuk’s lips are incredibly soft, feeling plush and full against his own, and Changkyun can’t help but to sigh into the embrace, his arms snaking up to clutch at Minhyuk’s firm arms. He leans in closer, chasing the other’s lips and lets out a soft sigh, which Minhyuk uses as an opportunity to teasingly nip at Changkyun’s lower lip, making him gasp softly. The movement allows Minhyuk to slip his tongue in and deepen the kiss passionately, crushing their lips together with a moan.

Changkyun feels overwhelmed, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest, but allows himself to be walked backwards, their lips still fervently locked and then he proceeds to be pushed down onto the bed. He breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily and looks on as Minhyuk straddles his lap, his palms stroking carefully down his chest, making him gasp again as the fingers reach his abs.

Leaning forward, he murmurs into Changkyun’s ear, “I’ll make it so good for you, baby,” and starts trailing kisses down his neck before licking a hot line back up to his ear again, leaving Changkyun frozen with anxiety and excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a member of the Protect Changkyun squad, it's almost painful to write this, poor baby.
> 
> Thanks for the support! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and will keep following my story! :D


	3. Bad Boy part.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My uploading schedule might be a bit more irregular once university starts again, but I'll try to upload regularly on either Thursdays or Fridays. I was a bit unsure about this chapter, but I hope it came out alright! 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it!

Changkyun doesn’t know how much time has passed since Kihyun dragged him upstairs for the forced shirt-change, but then again, it’s not like Minhyuk has let him leave the bed to check the time either.

His lips are feeling sore, but in an unexpectedly good way from the languid, intense kisses they have shared. Minhyuk has been gentle with him, taking his time to let Changkyun feel comfortable in his arms, covering his upper body with licks, kisses and the occasional love bite.

Now he can feel the slow grind of Minhyuk’s hardness against his own, making him lean into the touch, breathing heavily. Sure, he has kissed other people before, but none of them, boy or girl, has ever made him feel like this, as if his entire body is on fire. Andover-Changkyun would never have done anything like this with a guy he met less than an hour ago, but this is Seoul-Changkyun, and Seoul-Changkyun seems to be a more daring and confident version of himself, which he thinks he prefers.

But even with his newfound confidence, Changkyun doesn’t feel completely comfortable with where this is heading. Although Minhyuk is being sweet and is incredibly hot, he is also the first person to ever touch Changkyun this way, and he’s honestly not sure if he’s ready for it right now.

Feeling a hand slither down to the front of his jeans and starting to pull at the button, he tries to break the kiss, moving away from Minhyuk’s demanding mouth. Pushing himself backwards on the bed to remove himself from underneath the other, the door is suddenly ripped open.

Kihyun barges in, seeming completely unconcerned about finding Changkyun making out with one of his guests on his own bed, and disappears into the en-suite. Minhyuk leans back to see if he can see what Kihyun is doing, but he comes out again almost immediately after, clutching some makeup items in his hands.

“Who the fuck invited Kim Fucking Jennie and her fucking entourage?” he spits tensely as he starts meticulously applying a fierce peach eyeshadow around his eyes. “The last thing I need is to be shot by a fucking paparazzi trying to get a fucking scoop.”

Changkyun’s eyes widen at the excessive cursing, but they suddenly fill with a mix of confusion and awe. “Kim Jennie as in THE Kim Jennie? YG heiress Kim Jennie?”

Both Kihyun and Minhyuk look over at him where he’s propped up against the headboard, with amused gazes, Kihyun’s mouth showing a gummy, almost child-like smile. “That one, yes. Please don’t act like a fanboy around her if you meet her though!”

Minhyuk giggles at that, before turning towards Kihyun again to reply to his initial question, Changkyun understanding now that the two are good friends. “It was probably Hyunwoo who brought her. You know how persistent eomeoni Son can be about setting them up.”

Changkyun watches as Kihyun’s entire demeanour changes, from the playful grin only seconds ago to an agitated scowl clouding his previously bright expression. He mutters to himself as he puckers his lips to apply more pink lip tint, and Changkyun almost manages to make out the mumble which sounds something like “ _she can fucking try_ ”.

Kihyun is looking almost like an idol now, with the intense, yet soft makeup giving him a light air of innocence, which is as misleading as it could get. A small giveaway is the markings on his neck, enhanced by the leather choker in the bright lights of his bedroom, but Kihyun makes no move to attempt concealing them, despite complaining about paparazzies only minutes ago.

With Kihyun’s antics keeping Minhyuk engaged, Changkyun remembers his position and hurriedly covers up by putting on the pink shirt, tucking it into his pants and adjusting the long sleeves.

He gets up from the bed, ruffling his bangs to make them seem like less off a mess before looking over at Minhyuk with a bashful smile and leaves the room to explore the party downstairs.

Minhyuk turns his head towards the door as Changkyun disappears and falls back onto the duvet.

“Thanks a lot, by the way. He was practically begging for it before you showed up.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow at him, looking over his shoulder.

“How could I have known you were going to work that fast, huh? Also, he’s such a prude, I wouldn’t have imagined him putting out for the first attractive person showing him an ounce of interest. I guess he’s just that desperate.”

Minhyuk sighs theatrically, “You might as well just hand over the money now, Kihyunnie,” making the other laugh and stick his tongue out at him.

“Forget about Changkyun for a bit and let’s go look good for the pap shots.” Kihyun says, pulling Minhyuk off the bed and towards the door, linking arms with him.

***

The ambience has completely changed from earlier, the living room darker and the air heavier than before. There’s also a complete DJ set up with a makeshift booth full of expensive-looking gear playing deep house beats, the acoustics of the room being surprisingly good for the heavily bass-filled songs.

People are either dancing vigorously around where the DJ is or are seated around the room sipping their drinks and talking in small groups. Changkyun spots people outside as well, the terrace serving as a smoking area as well as for people needing fresh air. That’s where he decides to head first, desperately needing to cool down and collect his thoughts.

He slowly shoves at the door, careful to not hit the people crowding around it from the outside, and saunters over to the frameless glass railing enclosing the area to take in the view.

Seoul is beautifully illuminated tonight as per usual, their building’s panorama surrounded by vibrant lights shining in a kaleidoscope of colours. Despite the glow being seemingly warm and inviting, the air still makes the atmosphere cold and sobering.

There have been a lot of impressions to take in today and he’s not sure what to make of Kihyun’s volatile mood changes or Minhyuk’s advances. At least he can enjoy the latter, he thinks, Minhyuk being unlike any other guy he has been with, with his vehement confidence and handsome looks.

He chuckles, feeling giddy with excitement at the thought of this guy being into him and tilts his head up towards the sky to take it all in. As he inhales the fresh evening air, he smells a sickly-sweet odour coming from behind him.

Turning around, he sees a group of girls sitting on one of the sunbeds, passing a joint between them. He recognizes one of the three being the pretty, foreign-looking girl from earlier who defended him in front of Kihyun.

Changkyun doesn’t mind drinking alcohol or getting drunk every now and then, but drugs is something he has never had any interest in dabbling with. Of course, there were people at Andover who smoked weed every now and then in the dorms, but the closest thing Changkyun has ever come to any illegal substances was when his study buddy Trevor offered him some Ritalin pills before their last exam period, which he politely declined.

He has never had any interest being involved with drugs in the past, but as he doesn’t know anyone else around him at the moment, he decides to put his own opinions aside for the night and go talk to the little group.

“Changkyun!” the familiar girl drawls as he approaches, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him down to sit between herself and a pretty brunette. He blushes slightly at the unexpected move as she keeps hold of his hand, hers feeling small and delicate in his larger one.

“Hi,” he starts, eying the burning blunt between the blonde’s fingers before meeting her eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name earlier.”

She grins lazily at him, passing the blunt to the redhead on her other side, and entwines their fingers carefully. “I’m Lisa, but you can call me noona if you want.”

“Or oppa,” the brunette chimes in with a chuckle, making Changkyun blush even more, “she likes that.”

Lisa laughs at her friend, pulling their joined hands into her lap. “Relax, Changkyun. Jisoo here is just messing with you.” The girl, or Jisoo, as he just learned, grins at him and wraps her arm around his, making him trapped between the two of them.

“So, what do you think of the party?” she asks him cheerfully.

In a mix of attempting to calm down and to make a good impression on the two, he tries to answer steadily.

“It’s cool, the music’s cool, the people seem cool, I even heard Kim Jennie is here,” he says, his voice wavering, making the three girls laugh at his apparent nervousness.

“You’re adorable.” Lisa coos at him, running her available hand through his bangs, making his heart flutter a little. He’s suddenly reminded of Minhyuk who was carding his fingers through his hair only a while ago and turns rigid at all the attention. Leaning back on his arms to avoid some of the more intimate touches, the girls seem to sense his hesitancy and back off a little to make him more comfortable. Changkyun appreciates this, relaxing a bit more in his seat.

“Sorry if I seem rude asking, but where are you from?” Changkyun questions, meeting Lisa’s eyes. “I noticed you have a slight accent, but your Korean is really good!”

“Thanks! And don’t worry, I get asked this a lot.” she answers sweetly, “I’m originally from Thailand, but my mum decided to move the family over here for a while when our company branched out to Korea years ago, and I guess we never really left.”

“Oh,” he says, feeling like he should have understood that she came from money, being at Kihyun’s party in an outfit that looks like it came straight from the catwalk, “and how do you know Kihyun?”

For some reason the question makes them laugh, and Changkyun tries to laugh with them, not quite understanding what was so funny about what he just asked. Lisa reaches for the joint again and takes a hit before offering it to Changkyun. He shakes his head, mumbling a barely audible “no thanks” as she shrugs and passes it to Jisoo instead.

“We run in the same crowd, and we’ve done that for a while too.” She finally responds, her eyes meeting Jisoo’s as the other nods. “Chaeyoung here we met tonight, though. She came with Jennie’s group.” Changkyun follows her eyes, looking at the redhead next to her as she waves her fingers at him with a smirk, making him feel embarrassed at his previous mention of her friend.

“Girls, where have you been hiding all night?” a smooth voice interrupts their conversation, making Changkyun look up at the two guys who are standing in front of them, grinning.

The tallest of the two looks like a model, all stunning with long legs and plump pouty lips forming a small smile. The other one Changkyun recognizes as Kihyun’s friend from earlier, the one with the white-blonde hair who complimented him.

“Hoseok told me you guys had the good stuff and it looks like he was right.” He says, pushing the locks of his dyed hair away from his forehead, the natural gruffness of his voice contrasted by a lively, pleasant tone.

Jisoo laughs at him and passes the blunt, the tallest of the two immediately taking a long drag. “Hyungwon-ah, we were just having a breather out here. The place is really packed tonight.”

“Your set earlier was really good!” Chaeyoung interjects, making Hyungwon perk up looking proud behind the cloud of smoke surrounding him from his exhale. He passes the joint to his friend, who Changkyun is late to realize has had his eyes lingering on him since they showed up.

“Thank you! I try my best.” Hyungwon responds with a grateful short bow and reaches for the blunt again. “I wish Honey would perform with me, though!” he reprimands the blonde next to him in a joking manner, making him roll his eyes at his friend.

“You know my material isn’t finished yet, Wonwonie,” he says, voice heavy with aegyo, making Changkyun laugh wholeheartedly at the cute expression covering the other’s face.  Their eyes meet, this time intentionally from both sides, and Changkyun purses his lips to avoid another outburst from escaping his mouth. “You know you’re always welcome at my studio if you want to hear any of my new stuff.”

Although Changkyun is sure the last part was meant for Hyungwon, a tiny part of him can’t help but feel that the words were somehow aimed at himself as well.

The blonde guy and Hyungwon each take one last puff before giving the joint back to Jisoo, excusing themselves to head inside again. Chaeyoung gets up to follow them, mumbling that she needs to get back to her friends and disappears with a suggestive wink towards Lisa.

“Are they also friends of Kihyun’s?” Changkyun asks Jisoo, his eyes following the retreating backs of the two guys until they disappear through the terrace door.

“They are, yes.” Lisa answers for her. “Kihyun really knows how to pick his friends.” Her comment makes Changkyun think of the two guys he just met and Minhyuk, and silently agrees that his stepbrother seems to have surrounded himself with very attractive and interesting people.

 _Speaking of the devil_ , he thinks, as Kihyun appears from inside, followed by two others and storms over to stand with his arms firmly crossed by the railing away from where they are seated, looking very annoyed and very wasted.

“So, you guys are all part of the same friend group?” he asks, remembering her comment from earlier about running in the same crowd, feeling curious to know more about Kihyun. As he has felt hesitant to ask Kihyun any questions about his personal life, this seems like a better and easier way of finding out more about the other.

“Yeah, we’re basically the Seoul version of the F4,” Jisoo says solemnly, before Lisa hits and chides her friend for being overdramatic.

“What she means to say is that the seven of us are close friends.” She corrects Jisoo, who rolls her eyes at her. “Kihyun, Minhyuk and Hyunwoo have known each other since they were kids, and the rest of us have gotten to know them at various times throughout the years.”

“And we’re close. Really close.” Jisoo adds with a knowing grin.

“Like a family.” Lisa goes on, making Jisoo chortle at her words, stubbing out the remains of the blunt in an ashtray on the ground next to them before pointing over at where Kihyun is leaning back on the glass pane next to his friend.

“The one with his arm around Kihyun is Hoseok, also famously known as ulzzang Shin Wonho on the internet. He’s an influencer, runs a fitness account on Instagram and has a massive following. He used to be all innocent, though, before Kihyun came along and corrupted him.” She finishes with a snicker as Changkyun eyes him curiously.

His firm biceps are bulging through his tight mesh top, and Changkyun can’t seem to understand how the word innocent could ever have been used to describe the man, the top paired with sinfully tight leather pants accentuating his shapely ass, his outfit leaving very little to the imagination. His face doesn’t seem very familiar, but Changkyun has never been much involved in Korean web culture since he was living in the US and blames it on that.

“The other one is Hyunwoo,” the girl continues, pointing over at the other handsome man standing close to Kihyun. “or as Minhyukkie likes to describe him, _your friendly neighbourhood hyung._ ” Changkyun laughs at that, the description seeming fitting as he observes Hyunwoo, tall and muscular, with a very gentle, warm smile, currently aimed at Kihyun with a touch of concern melting in. “He used to be a trainee under JYP but quit to become the son and heir his parents have always dreamed of, filial as ever. He also has the patience of a saint, which is a must-have if you’re dealing with Kihyunnie as much as he does.”

Changkyun truly believes that, thinking of Kihyun’s turbulent mood swings and remembering how he softened at the mention of Hyunwoo at the dinner earlier that week.

“Truly a dreamboat,” Lisa adds, gazing lovingly in their direction, “handsome, loyal and all-organic, unlike our dear Hoseok, who consumes more protein powder than Kihyun snorts lines on a night out.” The girls laugh, but the comment leaves Changkyun slightly dazed, as he studies his stepbrother’s form from where he’s hidden next to Hoseok, not quite understanding what he just heard from Lisa.

“Then you have Hyungwon, the tallest of the two who you just met, who models and DJs, and Minhyuk, who’s my twin soul, gorgeous, charming, fit, basically good at everything, much like myself,” Jisoo says shamelessly, making Lisa playfully hit her again. “And lastly our Jooheonie, who was the guy with the dyed-blonde hair. He’s a rapper and is _really_ talented.”

Although he heard what Jisoo just said, his mind is still lingering on what was earlier revealed about Kihyun, the erratic behaviour suddenly making sense. Changkyun debates asking him about it once he gets an opportunity, but quickly puts the thought out of his mind.

What Kihyun does with his body is not Changkyun’s concern, he thinks to himself and joins the girls to go get another drink inside.

***

“Kihyun-ah, why won’t you talk to me?” Hyunwoo asks, voice soft, as Kihyun cuddles closer into Hoseok’s arm to steal some body heat as he shivers from the cold.

“Hoseok, make him leave.” He whines indignantly, ignoring the other’s pleas. Shortly after arriving back downstairs with Minhyuk, Kihyun had found him deep in conversation with the infamous celebrity he knew he had nothing to worry about, but in his current cross-faded state, in addition to his disastrous day and unsatisfactory encounter with a certain somebody, he had just gotten an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that he didn’t want to deal with and therefore decided to ignore Hyunwoo, which the other hadn’t taken lightly.

“I’m not going to make him leave, Kihyunnie. Why are you being like this, huh?” Hoseok murmurs, rubbing his arm comfortingly, making him pout.

“Maybe I’ll just go fuck Hyungwon or Jooheon instead then, and let your dicks freeze out here, alone.” He hisses, making the others flinch at the coarseness of his words. They exchange knowing looks, well-versed in dealing with Kihyun’s usual behaviour, and Hyunwoo sighs, coming up behind Kihyun as Hoseok holds him tight to keep him in place in case he lashes out.

“You know how much you mean to me, baby. I’d never do anything to make you upset.” He utters softly into his ear, Kihyun still tense but his body seems to be relaxing against Hyunwoo at the sound of his voice, all warm and sincere.

His arms wrap around Kihyun’s small waist, holding him tightly as Hoseok extracts his own arm from the smaller man’s hold. Kihyun is shaking slightly now, remaining silent, but turns around and curls into Hyunwoo, not offering any explanation or apology, which they accept. Hoseok slinks away as his work there is done, not really wanting to deal more with Kihyun now when he’s like this, leaving that to his other friend. Hyunwoo has always been better at dealing with an emotional Kihyun either way.

“I’m not upset.” Hyunwoo hears Kihyun say, his low voice emotionless against his shoulder. “I just don’t like it when you invite people over without telling me beforehand.”

Hyunwoo doubts the explanation as it has never been an issue to invite people to parties before, but lets it slide this time, knowing a retaliation will only lead to firing Kihyun up and making him lash out once again.

Instead he places a soft kiss on the crown of Kihyun’s head and cherishes the little moment with a docile Kihyun, the soft pink hair tickling his nose and his breath feeling warm against Hyunwoo’s shoulder. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

Kihyun sighs, seeming satisfied at the answer. “I know you won’t.” he says confidently, and with the attitude-change from distressed to self-assured, Hyunwoo understands that the moment is over. His thoughts are confirmed as he feels Kihyun’s hands place a tight grip on his belt buckle, tugging lightly as Kihyun looks up at him, his red-rimmed eyes glinting.

“You will take me upstairs, though.” He knows Hyunwoo would never refuse him, knows that his best friend enjoys their arrangement just as much as he does, and would never spend the night with Jennie if he could have Kihyun’s tight body all hot and begging underneath him instead.

He is still holding him by the belt as he moves back to drag the other inside and towards the stairs, Hyunwoo sighing, but following.

***

Changkyun wakes up the morning after, fully clothed on his bed, his head pounding like never before. He remembers taking shots with the two girls and joining a drinking game with them, Minhyuk and Hoseok, which felt like a good idea at the time, but with the headache he’s sporting right now, he regrets everything. Especially when he remembers dancing to his old Andover PPAP routine, practically having forced Hyungwon to play the song.

Dragging himself out of bed, he walks over to the en-suite, and splashes some water in his face, not wanting to look in the mirror as he must be looking like a right mess.

Opting to take a shower later, he decides to head downstairs to maybe drink some water or find something greasy and unhealthy in the fridge to eat himself through his hangover.

Walking through the mess that is the living room area which is littered with bottles, cans and other types of unidentifiable messes Changkyun doesn’t feel well enough to identify, he enters the kitchen and spots Kihyun slumped over the dining table, looking worse than Changkyun himself feels, which is a feat in his current condition. Hyunwoo is standing by the stove, shirtless, his broad chest on full display as he is cooking something, probably making breakfast for the two of them.

Changkyun averts his eyes, greeting Hyunwoo with a shy “hi”, getting a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge and slides into the seat next to Kihyun.

“How are you feeling?” he carefully asks Kihyun, as the other seems to be waking up.

“Like death,” is the response he gets, making him cover his mouth to try not to chuckle. Kihyun sits up, eyes tightly shut, the room feeling too bright. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

“I did, yeah.” Changkyun smiles, thinking about the friends he has made, and the new numbers added to his phone, especially Minhyuk’s, which he’s itching to message. “Your friends are really nice.” He says, looking over at Hyunwoo with the frying pan in his hand, the scene looking very domestic.

“I know.” Kihyun responds, stealing the water bottle from Changkyun’s hands, almost emptying it before handing it back to him. “That’s why I keep them around.”

Hyunwoo laughs at that, carrying over two bowls of ramen with fried eggs and places them in front of the stepbrothers with a smile. “Here, eat this. You’ll feel better.”

Changkyun profusely thanks him, not feeling like making any food at the moment and feeling grateful that he’s being taken care of. Kihyun doesn’t look as pleased, probably not feeling very hungry if he’s struggling through both a hangover and a comedown.

“I’m sorry if Minhyuk attacked you yesterday.” He says in a small voice from his seat, looking down into the bowl of food, as if he’s meticulously inspecting the egg, making Changkyun look over at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “I know he can get a bit…much, sometimes.”

The sincerity of his words baffles Changkyun, as he didn’t seem to care yesterday when he found them in a compromising position in his own room, on his own bed even.

“I appreciate the concern, but it was alright. Minhyuk seems nice.” He tells Kihyun, the other still not giving much of a reaction, eyes trained on the dish in front of him.

“He is nice.” Hyunwoo contributes as he sits down himself to join them with his own bowl of food, eating eagerly, not seeming fazed from the night before at all. Then again, he doesn’t remember seeing the other with a drink in his hand last night, which would explain how he’s managing to function properly when Kihyun and Changkyun himself feel horrible. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”

“Yeah, I know. Lisa and Jisoo told me about the F4 yesterday.” Changkyun says, making Hyunwoo chuckle at his words.

“F4 is a bit of an exaggeration, but then again, Jisoo does love her dramas.”

Changkyun smiles at that, chuckling into his food. The comment makes him wish he had a tight-knit friend group like that himself. Then again, this one can come to be his as well, as he feels like he got along well with all the people he met yesterday, despite making a fool of himself on the dance floor.

He smiles at the thought, picking up his chopsticks, taking another bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've gotten the main character introductions down, we can get further into the plot :)
> 
> Tell me who's your Monsta X bias in the comments below!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. As I Told You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry for not updating last week, but life literally hit me. (I managed to leave my house keys in my home country and i didn't realize it until i was on the flight on my way to where I study, so I was basically homeless for a week until I got the keys from my parents in the mail, so I didn't really have the time to sit down and write.)
> 
> Next week I will hopefully be back on track with regular updates, but before that, my birthday tomorrow! (◠‿◠✿)
> 
> Anyhow, here's the new chapter! I hope you'll like it!

The rest of the weekend has gone by at a much slower pace, as Kihyun decided has that the remaining days will be for resting. Or at least that is what Hyunwoo tells Changkyun when they run into each other in the kitchen Saturday evening, as he is making dinner for the two of them.

It’s now Sunday and Kihyun has yet to leave his room after their breakfast the day before, Hyunwoo explaining how Kihyun has not been feeling well since Friday night and that he is just there to make sure Kihyun gets as much rest as his body needs right now. He doesn’t mention anything about a comedown or anything other than what seems like long hangover, so Changkyun doesn’t ask, and hopes Kihyun will feel better tomorrow.

It’s the second time they eat dinner just the two of them, yesterday’s dinner spent in silence with Changkyun enjoying the homemade meal and thanking the other for the food instead of attempting to spark conversation. Although Hyunwoo seems like an outgoing and nice guy, he doesn’t seem like a person to enjoy unnecessary small-talk, which luckily Changkyun isn’t either.

They had remained seated in comfortable silence, eating their food as the house cleaners finished up removing the remnants of the party from the ground floor and the terrace to make their apartment look immaculately clean again, as if nothing had occurred the night before.

Changkyun feels better knowing that there were no permanent damages from the large mass of people in various states of drunkenness that had been at their place that night and is able to relax a bit more once the mess is out of the house.

Although Changkyun expects another silent meal today, Hyunwoo clears his throat and speaks up as Changkyun is finishing the rest of the food on his plate and is about to get up to clear the table.

“So Changkyun, Kihyun-ah didn’t tell us a lot about you. What made you decide to come back to Korea?”

Changkyun sits back down again, plate and chopsticks still in his hands. “Well, I just graduated from my high school in the States, and fortunately had the grades to get into the biochem track at Yonsei.” He starts, feeling comfortable in the other’s presence and keeps going.

“I’ve basically lived away from here for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t until dad met Kihyun’s mum he decided to settle down in Seoul, so studying here means that I’ll get to see him and the family on a regular basis, which will be really nice.”

His explanation is deemed satisfactory by Hyunwoo as the other nods and takes a sip of water.

“Does your mother live here as well?” he asks, and even if Changkyun knows he should have expected the question, it still feels as if there is a sudden weight on his chest. He swallows down the thickness in his mouth, hands toying with the metal chopsticks.

“No, she passed away when I was younger.” He says, his voice small.

Hyunwoo reaches over to cover Changkyun’s hand with his larger one in a comforting manner. “I’m sad to hear that.” He appreciates the genuine gesture and sends the other a half-smile.

He doesn’t like talking about his mother. When she died, his father had refused to talk about her death and her, and as he from then on was the only adult close to Changkyun, he had no choice but to become good at repressing his feelings. Talking about her simply brings back too many memories now, so his father probably was right when he said they were better off not discussing her and moving on with their lives.

“What do you do then?” Changkyun asks, desperate to change the topic and avert the attention away from himself.

“Right now, I’m in my last year of Business Administration, Kihyun’s in the year below mine.” He says proudly, slowly retracting his hand from Changkyun’s to pick up his chopsticks and take another bite. “After I finish, I’m going to start working under my father at his energy firm.”

Hearing the last words, Changkyun’s mind is taken back to the party, to the sunbed, remembering what Jisoo and Lisa had told him about Hyunwoo being a filial son, and the part before.

“On Friday, the girls mentioned something about JYP as well?” he asks nervously, scared of touching upon a sensitive topic. Luckily, Hyunwoo seems serene as always, answering easily with a smile.

“I have always loved singing and dancing. With my mother being an actress, always trying to involve me by bringing me to sets and shows, she naturally encouraged me to audition when the right opportunity came along.” He pauses and puts his chopsticks down on the finished plate.

“After four years of training in JYP I kind of realized it wasn’t going anywhere so I decided to follow in my father’s footsteps instead and go to university, which was a much better and more rational decision.”

The reply feels a bit rehearsed, as if this is a statement which Hyunwoo has been telling others for the past years in hopes of someday maybe believing in it himself, but it is not in Changkyun’s place to ask or judge, for that matter.

“Four years preparing to become an idol…” he says pensively. “That seems like an awful long time.”

Hyunwoo only replies with a “yeah,” and takes his glass, finishing the last of his water, still with the same calm composure. A silence settles around them again, only this time it’s slightly more uncomfortable than before. Trying to come up with a better topic, he decides to ask something that has been gnawing on his mind since the party.

“How long have you and Kihyun been together?” he inquires lightly, and for the first time, the calm demeanour disappears from Hyunwoo’s face and is exchanged with a troubled gaze with indecipherable emotion clouding his eyes.

“We’re not together.” He simply answers and looks down, his voice slightly tenser than earlier.

“Oh.” is all Changkyun manages to say, feeling as if he has put his foot in his mouth too many times already and sensing the end of the conversation. He thanks Hyunwoo another time for the dinner and gets up to leave.

As he is walking up the stairs, his phone vibrates repeatedly from his pocket before it quiets down. He has been thinking of messaging Minhyuk ever since they exchanged numbers, but haven’t mustered up the courage to message him yet, so maybe Minhyuk has texted him before he got a chance to message the other first?

The thought makes Changkyun’s heart flutter a little, as he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what happened in Kihyun’s room Friday. Coming to a halt in front of his bedroom door, he pulls his phone out to check the notifications and read the messages.

**From: Unknown number**

_Hi, its lee jooheon, kihyuns friend_

_I got ur # from minhyukhyung, cuz i  
cant reach ks phone_

_Could u tell hyung ill be @ studio  
1pm tmrw_

_I told him 6 on fri, but plans changed  
so i have all day off !!!_

_I hope u had a nice weeknd :)_

Changkyun tries not to feel too disappointed that it wasn’t Minhyuk who messaged him and tries to read through the messy writing that Jooheon just spammed him with. He can’t help but to chuckle lightly at the last message, seemingly written as a considerate afterthought, and decides to text back straight away, but not before saving the contact to his phone.

**To: Lee Jooheon**

_I’ll tell him, dw!_

_I did! Didn’t feel too good_  
_yesterday, but today has_  
_been better_  
_ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_

_I hope you’ve had a good  
one as well!_

He figures he will tell Kihyun tomorrow, not really wanting to bother him when he is not feeling too good. It’s still too early to go to sleep, but Changkyun throws himself down on the bed where his laptop is lying, sneaking underneath the covers to binge-watch some Netflix snows before he ultimately drifts off.

***

Monday eventually comes along, and with that also Kihyun finally deciding to crawl out of his room and face the world again. Hyunwoo had left him after he and Changkyun ate together the day before, with an apologetic kiss placed on the crown of Kihyun’s head before leaving to return to his own flat.

Kihyun is well aware that Hyunwoo was put on _Kihyun-watch_ by the rest of the group but he doesn’t have the excess energy to feel annoyed by his friends although he has told them time and time again to mind their own business and that he doesn’t need any babysitting.

As the numbness has loosened its tight grip on his body, Kihyun feels ready to start socializing again. Currently, he is in one of his mother’s cars with their personal driver, having opted out of taking a taxi to Jooheon’s studio as a certain level of discreetness is required around the Starship Entertainment building. Especially as Kihyun is quite well-known himself in the socialite sphere of Korea.

Originally, he had wanted to spend his day alone with Jooheon, but when Changkyun earlier had gently knocked on his door to coax him out of bed with a message from his friend who had apparently tried contacting him several times about their plans that day, he decided to invite the younger along and score some hyung-points with Changkyun’s father.

Before leaving the house, Kihyun had forced Changkyun to model in some of his outfit choices for the day, not wanting to be spotted with the other if he looked like a trash bag. After four different outfit changes, Changkyun had received the nod of acceptance from Kihyun, wearing a thin, white tee and light stonewashed ripped jeans with a cream coat from Kihyun’s own closet.

The boy is now dozing off against the car window, the slow traffic having lulled him to sleep. As they arrive in the parking garage, Kihyun lightly shakes Changkyun’s shoulder to wake him up, and the other slowly blinks his drowsy eyes to comprehend what is going on.

“Ready to meet an idol?” Kihyun says jokingly, and watches as Changkyun’s eyes open wide in awe, unable to mask his excitement. He gets out and Changkyun stumbles out after him to keep up, the two of them entering the elevator and Kihyun sending off a message to Jooheon to tell him they are there.

They get out in the lobby area and soon enough a familiar white-blonde guy is walking towards them with a bright smile on his face.

“Kihyun-hyung!” he says when he is close enough and gives him a warm hug, making Kihyun smile back at him.

“ _Honey-ah_ ,” he emphasises the pet name with a small whine, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in _forever_.”

Pulling away from the embrace, Jooheon laughs at him with raised eyebrows. “You saw me Friday, didn’t you?”

Kihyun purses his lips, rolling his eyes at that and sees Changkyun observing the interaction with a puzzled look. He realizes that the two most-likely have never met before.

“I don’t know if you two met already, but this is my stepbrother Im Changkyun. He likes to play the piano and sing girl group songs.” He says with a smirk, watching as Changkyun’s ears redden instantly as Jooheon snickers.

“Girl group songs, huh?” Jooheon teases lightly, “That’s cute. We met briefly at the party and I actually invited him to visit me here. I didn’t think he would take me up on the offer this quickly, though.”

As he says this, Jooheon aims his smile at Changkyun who seems to be having some kind of mental breakdown, completely flushed from his ears to his neck. Kihyun’s eyes flickers between the two of them with a curious look.

“A lot seems to have happened that night I see.” He exchanges a meaningful look with Jooheon, raising his eyebrow, but the other just rolls his eyes at him, signalling for Kihyun and Changkyun to follow behind as he starts walking.

Having visited the building several times before, Kihyun isn’t really interested in a tour of the place, but as Changkyun has never been here, Jooheon takes it upon himself to tell him all about Starship, the location, the different rooms and of course, his treasured studio. Changkyun trails after him like a puppy, ardently listening to every single word coming out of Jooheon’s mouth.

Once they get to the studio, Changkyun is quick to sit down next to Jooheon on the sofa, while Kihyun lingers by the screen to look over the track currently on display which is the song the two of them have been working on together.

Ever since he was a little boy, Kihyun has loved music. Playing music, listening to songs, but most of all he has loved singing. He dreamt of being a singer back then, with his friends and other people around him always commenting on how talented he was and how special and beautiful his voice sounded. He would some days dream of being in an idol group with crazy choreographies and dedicated fans, and other days he would dream of bands or singing with grand orchestras in front of rows and rows of people in an opera house. Anything would do as long as it involved singing.

When he finally voiced his dream out loud to his parents, they had straight out laughed at him, their darling son with his head in the clouds. Why would he waste his time trying to become an industry product, as his mother would always call idols, when he could choose between two stable and incredibly profitable corporations to work for, with high-ranking positions lined up for him as soon as he would finish the business degree at his parents’ alma mater?

Back then, Kihyun hadn’t even been aware what a business degree entailed or if he wanted to study at SNU at all, but as many of his friends were in the same situation as him, coming from second- or third-generation chaebol families, he learned to accept that this was the path that was laid out for him. That’s not to say that he hadn’t put up a fight at first, especially when he became a teenager, but once he realized there were other battles he would have to pick with his parents, more important battles, he acquiesced and started working harder on improving his grades and making them proud of his academic achievements.

He later came to realize they were right, of course. Through seeing Hyunwoo’s struggles as a trainee for years and years, with himself being halfway through a degree he doesn’t mind studying, having had to refrain from pursuing a childish dream is a small price to pay for living an easy, comfortable life in luxury just like his parents. His mother did allow him to take lessons for classical piano anyways, so it wasn’t as if he was forced to never do any sort of music.

It doesn’t keep him from living out his childhood visions through his friends though, first through Hyunwoo and later also through Jooheon after Hyunwoo introduced the younger man to his friend group when they were both under JYP. Jooheon has always indulged his hyung, inviting him to the studio, trying to involve him and sometimes even allowing him to make his own recordings, and Kihyun has always been grateful to the younger for this, even if he doesn’t voice it out loud too often, never having cared much for sentiments.

Kihyun hasn’t seen or heard the track for a long time, having been too busy with his exams to stop by and work on it together with Jooheon, but the other seems to have done a great job with the mixing so he is sure they will be able to hear the final product soon. He lets himself get immersed in the process, putting the headphones lying on the desktop on and listening through his own parts, writing down possible changes or things he wants to go through more thoroughly with Jooheon.

Speaking of Jooheon, he and Changkyun are still seated on the sofa behind him, talking, but Kihyun has tuned them out with the help of the headphones, completely engrossed with the music.

Just when he is about to ask Jooheon if he can re-record the bridge to give it a smoother transition into the last chorus, his phone starts buzzing loudly from its place on the desktop next to him, making the two others look up to identify the ruckus. He sees the caller ID, "Mr. Idol", and promptly gets up take it outside, excusing himself to Jooheon before he is out the door.

“ _Kihyun-ah, I’m sorry for Friday. I should have warned you about the shoot and I shouldn’t have just kicked you out, but you know that I can’t have anyone seeing us like that.”_

Kihyun takes a deep breath before replying, his thumb clawing at the silver bands on his fingers from inside his fist.

“I know, don’t worry, it’s fine,” he says, “it would have been nice to get off, though.” Only the latter part is true, but the other doesn’t need to know that. “You want to meet up later this week to finish what we started?”

The line goes silent, but he can hear faint breathing on the other line. “ _I don’t have the ti-_ “

“As much as I love the taste of your cock in my mouth,” Kihyun interrupts in a sultry, low voice, “you know I prefer it filling me up as I’m riding you, hyung.”

“ _Kihyun-ah…”_ he hears the other groan, the distinctive grumble and tone of his voice familiar, and Kihyun knows he has won. “ _You better meet me at the dorm in half an hour.”_

Kihyun looks towards the door he just exited and thinks of his plans with Jooheon and Changkyun for the rest of the day, but he already knows his decision.

“But what if I have plans for today already?”

“ _We have schedules in Japan for the next two weeks, so I won’t be able to see you until I get back, so if you have plans today, I’ll just see you then.”_

“No!” he exclaims before repeating himself in a calmer manner, not wanting to seem desperate, hating the nonchalance of the other’s voice. “No, I was just teasing. I wasn’t doing anything today.”

He hears the other chuckle softly and tries his best to ignore how the sound makes him feel.

“ _I have to go now. See you later?”_

“Yeah, see you in a few.” And with that, Kihyun hangs up, pursing his lips to avoid smiling widely.

It’s just a fuck to satisfy his own insatiable sex-drive, nothing else, he reminds himself and quickly heads to the toilets fix his makeup before breaking the news to the two others.

He is short on time, after all.

***

“This place really is incredible.” Changkyun repeats for the fourth time, much to Jooheon’s amusement. They have been alone since Kihyun went to answer the phone call, and he still can’t quite understand that he is inside a professional recording studio right now, with a professional rapper.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” Jooheon chuckles and yawns, sitting up to stretch his arms. He had told Changkyun earlier that he has been working on a new song in the studio for a couple of hours already, so Changkyun assumes he must feel both tired and restless at the same time, having been cooped up inside the small room for quite some time.

“I just can’t believe it,” he mutters to himself, before eagerly asking “Do you run into other artists and rappers a lot?” Although he hasn’t been keeping up on the Korean social media trends, he has been listening to the Korean music a lot, having enjoyed the small connection to his roots.

“I mean, I do sometimes see some familiar faces in the cafeteria or in the hallways, but I think I saw more _idols_ around when I was a trainee. Here, idols and rappers don’t usually have the same type of schedules, so running into them is pretty unusual for me.”

“You used to be a trainee as well?” Just as he raises the question, his mind is taken back to the same conversation he had with Hyunwoo a day ago and curses himself, hoping this story will be less depressing to hear about.

“Yeah, I was,” he replies with a distant smile, “that’s how I got to know Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Kihyun was never a trainee of course, but he was around every now and then either way for Hyunwoo.”

“So, you were also under JYP,” he states excitedly, ignoring the part about Kihyun as his stepbrother and his relationships keep making him more and more confused, “that’s so cool!” His animated reaction makes the other laugh, Changkyun having stars in his eyes. “This all feels too surreal.”

“I can’t even imagine how you’d react if I brought you to JYP. Next thing I know you’ll ask me if I’m friends with Twice.”

Changkyun looks at Jooheon with a sheepish grin. “Not Twice, but maybe GOT7?”

For some reason, this makes Jooheon laugh even harder than before, his body almost shaking at his roars and clapping his hands together like a happy seal. Changkyun joins in, laughing more at the reaction than anything else. “Of course, you are a GOT7 fanboy,” Jooheon wheezes, having finally managed to quiet his laughter. “It must be a family thing.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes at the comment with mock-offense. “I’m not a fanboy, I just really like their music,” he proclaims indignantly, “and I might have been to a fan-meet they had in D.C. last year.”

“I’ll make sure to tell the hyungs next time we hang out.” He responds with a giggle, making Changkyun blush. He feels as if his cheeks have been permanently burning and red since he arrived in Seoul, but luckily Jooheon seems to think it’s only endearing, which calms Changkyun’s inner dialogue a tiny bit. He lightly punches the other’s shoulder, grinning at him as Jooheon jokingly looks shocked at the action.

They are suddenly interrupted by the door opening wide, and Kihyun coming back in. He doesn’t sit down and is looking rather flushed, but with more makeup than he was wearing before, Changkyun notes.

“Hey guys, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to leave.” He says biting his lower lip. “I realized I have a meeting today and I have to attend it.”

Jooheon trains his eyes on the other with a sly grin. “No surprise video shoot today?”

Kihyun looks back at him with a glazed look, completely unamused by the comment. “No. More like a surprise trip to Japan.” Changkyun looks between the two and tilts his head to the side in confusion. _Is Kihyun going to Japan?_ Jooheon chuckles lightly in response and his gaze shifts to concern.

“I hope it will be better than last time. You deserve more than that.”

Kihyun frowns a bit at that and looks down at his fingers, subconsciously playing with the rings on his hand before looking up again. “It’s just a meeting. It doesn’t mean anything. You know that, right?”

Jooheon lifts his hands resignedly, as if this is a conversation they have had several times already, but it doesn’t make Changkyun any less confused.

“Either way,” Kihyun addresses Jooheon after a bit, his voice breaking through the tense air which arose with Jooheon’s words, “Take care of my brother, will you? And make sure he gets home alright.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, instead hurriedly leaving out the door.

 _Since when did you think of me as worthy of being your brother?_ Changkyun wonders to himself, gazing toward where Kihyun disappeared from of seconds ago.

“I worry about him sometimes.”

Changkyun looks back at Jooheon, who is still sitting next to him with a more sober expression covering his face. He rubs his eyes, not waiting for Changkyun to comment on it before he continues with a smile. “So, do you sing anything other than girl group songs?”

***

Kihyun’s phone rings as he is in the car, only a few blocks away from his destination. The traffic has been absolutely terrible as per usual, but he really wishes it wasn’t as bad today as he is losing precious time he could be spending getting fucked. He sighs loudly when he sees who is calling him, but compliantly answers as he always does.

“Father.” He says, his voice steady and formal.

“ _Kihyun._ ” He hears his father’s firm voice, the one he uses when discussing business or his son’s future. “ _I need you to accompany me for a business dinner Friday._ ”

 _Direct as always_ , Kihyun thinks to himself. “Do you not have any associates or interns or something that could attend in my place? Why me?”

“ _Because you are my son, and this will be a great opportunity for you to see how my company deals with our clients, how_ our _company deals with our clients_.”

It’s almost funny how his father expects him to take his place as CEO while his mother is set on Kihyun taking over her father’s corporation. If they only talked to each other, they might have been more aware of the other parent’s expectations regarding their only son, but Kihyun knows it is his fault they aren’t speaking to each other anymore, so he would never mention it to either of them out of respect and remorse.

“Of course, I will join you. Who are we dining with?”

“ _Just some big-shot entertainment company executive. He’ll probably bring some of his assets there to try to show off and impress us with, as if bringing artists to business dinners is a new trick of the game._ ” He mutters the last part with a scoff, and Kihyun can practically picture him rolling his eyes in annoyance. “ _Don’t wear anything provocative. I’ll send you the details later, and a car will be sent for you on the day._ ”

Kihyun grips his phone tightly, fighting to hold himself back and not retaliate on the former comment, counting backwards from ten to calm himself. He rubs furiously at his nose, which has started itching again, and looks out the window.

“I won’t.”

“ _Good._ ” And with that, his father hangs up, leaving Kihyun in silence, listening to the booming noises from outside the car which go well with the chaotic noise inside his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on who Mr. Idol is? ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments, they really motivate me so much :D


	5. Sweet Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate it when authors apologize in every single chapter for not updating on time, so I'm just gonna apologize for the last time. Starting university again made me realize that weekly updates are a bit too ambitious for someone about to write their thesis. Therefore, my new aim will be to update every other week, which seems like a more doable goal for me to achieve.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the next chapter and keep reading! Your feedback really gives me the will to write and it also makes me so happy!

Changkyun had had a great time yesterday. After spending an entire day with Jooheon alone, messing around in the studio while also learning from the other and watching him work, he felt as if he had made a new friend. Even if he didn’t get to spend time with Kihyun, who he has not seen since he left in a hurry the day before, Changkyun feels that the day was well spent.

He still doesn’t understand Kihyun’s whole meeting deal. As far as he knows, Kihyun doesn’t have any jobs or business associates he needs to meet up with, but then again, Changkyun has been around for less than a week and has not asked Kihyun himself if he does have any work either. For all he knows, Kihyun could own a fashion brand of some kind or run a cooking channel on Youtube, although he really doubts the last part, no matter how talented his stepbrother is in the kitchen.

But what kind of meetings lasted more than a day? Jooheon had followed up on his promise to his hyung and had driven Changkyun home himself at a reasonable time, several hours after Kihyun had left, and yet he was not home when Changkyun had locked himself into the apartment.

He wonders when the appropriate time to start feeling stressed about Kihyun’s whereabouts is, as he has never had to deal with having a sibling before, and an older one at that. Of course, Kihyun is a big boy who can take care of himself, but Changkyun can’t help but worry about the other. Especially after what Jooheon had said after Kihyun left.

 _I worry about him sometimes_.

The words hadn’t even been that severe-sounding, stated more as an afterthought than anything else, but for some reason it has resonated in Changkyun’s head. The fact that Kihyun isn’t answering his messages from last night doesn’t help either, but he thinks he will wait a little bit longer before he decides to take any action. It’s not like he minds spending time alone in the apartment, with his father’s large library at his disposal, filled to the brim with fascinating books he can’t wait to read.

He is lounging in one of the couches, having just had dinner and is messing around with his phone when the door-lock sounds throughout the apartment with its loud mechanical noise. Changkyun lifts his head, alert but hesitant, and looks over towards the door. He finds Kihyun with his hair tucked into a beanie he wasn’t wearing the day before, looking tired but relaxed. He doesn’t acknowledge Changkyun as he walks by him on his way towards the kitchen, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater, and Changkyun notices the other has a slight limp.

“Are you alright, Kihyun?” he asks carefully, “Where have you been?”

The other stops, turning around with closed eyes, scratching lightly above his eye as he takes a breath. “None of your business, Changkyun.”

He absolutely hates it when the other does this, when Kihyun talks to him as if he is nothing but a nuisance, like a four-year-old asking too many silly questions to a tired parent. It was a simple unobtrusive question, so Changkyun doesn’t understand why Kihyun feels the need to answer him like this. He is not _that_ much older than him.

Noticing the dejected annoyance in Changkyun’s face, Kihyun huffs and walks towards him, motioning for Changkyun to scoot over to make room for him next to Changkyun on the sofa. To his great surprise, Kihyun pulls at his shoulder to push him lightly down to lay his head in the other’s lap, which Changkyun nervously complies to.

“Changkyun-ah, you don’t need to know where I am twenty-four seven.” He tells him, and this time without any condescension in his voice, just matter-of-factly simplicity.

“I know that,” Changkyun starts to answer, looking up at the other, “but I didn’t hear anything from you, so I didn’t know what to think when you didn’t come home last night.”

Kihyun’s eyes soften at that, and a long pause of silence ensures. Kihyun’s hand reaches out to card his fingers through Changkyun’s hair in a comforting manner. The gesture is gentle enough so Changkyun decides to let all his worries slide and leave his questions for some other day, so he can just enjoy this moment between the two of them. His eyelids flutter closed so he can fully enjoy the caress.

“The gang will be coming over later, I hope that’s fine with you?” Kihyun murmurs after a little while, his hand still playing with Changkyun’s black locks. “It’s just going to be a small party, nothing like last time.”

Changkyun smiles shyly at that. “Will Minhyuk be there?” he asks, glad that his eyes are closed and unable to observe Kihyun’s reaction due to the position they are seated in, in case he is laughing at him.

He hasn’t heard anything from the auburn-haired man since they said their goodbyes at the party, but maybe he clumsily added the wrong number into Minhyuk’s phone in the spur of the moment, or maybe Minhyuk has been expecting him to text first. Jooheon did say he got his number from Minhyuk, so it couldn’t have been the first option, but the second is more or less plausible.

He had completely forgotten about Minhyuk yesterday when he was with Jooheon, but now, with another party in mind, he is once again reminded of the other and feels butterflies in his stomach. He is not quite sure if it is due to nerves or excitement, but he tries not to think too much about it.

Kihyun looks down to glance at the other’s face, smirking at the serene, but bashful expression. “He will.” He replies with a chuckle, making Changkyun laugh a little as well.

“Cool.”

“Do you want me to put in a good word for you with him?”

“N-No, that’s fine. Thanks, though.” Changkyun sputters and blushes, making Kihyun laugh silently.

They remain seated like that for a while, Changkyun dozing off on Kihyun’s lap while the other plays with his hair and for the first time since he arrived, Changkyun feels as if he has finally come home.

Suddenly, a loud vibration-sound comes from underneath Changkyun’s head, nudging him awake in seconds. Kihyun fishes his phone out of his pocket, looks at the display and scoffs before declining the call. The phone starts ringing again almost immediately, but Kihyun repeats his action from before and leaves his phone on the coffee table in front of them.

Changkyun sits up from Kihyun’s lap, eyeing the phone as it lights up again, with the familiar ID of “Mr. Idol” which Changkyun has seen several times before now.

“Who is it?” he asks carefully, looking from the phone towards his stepbrother, hoping his mood from before has remained.

Kihyun sighs as he covers his eyes with his palms and rubs at them tiredly. “Just a business associate.” He says after a while, still not looking at Changkyun.

“Was it him you had a meeting with yesterday?”

“Yeah, but it was nothing important. Don’t worry about it.”

His tone has a feeling of dejectedness to it, sounding empty and numb, and Changkyun desperately wants to ask him more about the contact, but Kihyun stands up, physically ending the conversation by walking off in the direction of his room and Changkyun doesn’t have it in him to stop him.

The phone finally stops ringing and stills for a small moment before vibrating two times, the screen lighting up with each notification. Looking towards the direction of where Kihyun disappeared, Changkyun lets his curiosity get the best of him and picks up the phone to look at the message preview on the lock screen display.

**From: Mr. Idol**

_Baby don’t be like that_

_Answer, please_

He puts the phone back in its former place and sits back, the feeling of confusion remaining within him just like before. As far as he knows, business partners do not call each other baby or text each other in such an informal manner.

“ _They will be here soon, so go get ready!_ ” he hears Kihyun shout from upstairs, not bothering to come downstairs to tell him in a normal voice. Changkyun waits on the sofa a little longer to see if another message pops in but his plan is soon interrupted by his stepbrother standing at the top of the stairs, wearing nothing but a small towel around his waist.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

Changkyun throws a last glance over at the phone as discreetly as possible before getting up, telling Kihyun “yeah, I got it”, and starting to climb the stairs.

***

“I’m sorry about Friday, Kihyun-hyung. I should have understood something was up with the quality when I got such a good deal on my usual cut.” Hyungwon tells him from where he is leaned against the counter as Kihyun works on his drink. He doesn’t want to listen to any excuses or apologies, and ignores the attempt, eyes focused on the task before him.

“I’ve had worse, Hyungwon-ah, let’s not do this right now.” He says, still not meeting the other’s eyes. “How about you give me a gram of coke for free and we never speak of it again, huh?” Now he looks up, smiling sweetly at the other as he hands over the half-full glass, fully knowing that the other will never refuse Kihyun anything.

“Sure, you got it, hyung.” He grins prettily with his plump lips and Kihyun wonders whether or not he should make use of them tonight. His thoughts are interrupted by Hyungwon, who is observing the crowd. “So, the shy twink who is wearing your shirt and has been eye-fucking Minhyuk-hyung for a good fifteen minutes, are you going to tell me who he is?”

Kihyun can’t help but laugh at the description. “Changkyun.” He simply says, watching as Hyungwon takes his first sip while turning around to face Kihyun. He decides to play with him a little, as Hyungwon has always had an obvious possessive streak when it comes to the people he considers his, mostly meaning their friend group.

“Minhyuk must have told you about Changkyun, my 19-year-old virgin stepbrother? He just graduated from his strict catholic boarding school in the States and has been _so_ eager to learn and try new things. I even walked in on them in my room Friday night, he was all over Minhyuk.”

Hyungwon’s expression remains unfazed by the words, but Kihyun knows his tall friend well, knows that he is itching to look back towards them even as he holds Kihyun’s stare fiercely with his own, hazy gaze.

“Minhyuk told me he was going to be the first to fuck him. I made a bet with everyone last week on 500 000 won to whoever who did it first, you see, and it seems as if Changkyun is making it _terribly_ easy for our dear Minhyukkie to win.”

As he empties his glass completely and roughly hands it over to Kihyun again, it is easy to see that the words have made Hyungwon annoyed.

“I guess your lips aren’t as good as they used to be.” He pushes further, his innocent tone making Hyungwon scoff and run his fingers through his honey-brown hair as he leans over, his face close to Kihyun’s as he uses his height to his advantage.

“Do you think I don’t know that you want me, hyung?” he starts coyly, tilting his head to the side as he smirks. “I’ll show you what my lips can do, with both you _and_ Minhyuk-hyung. Just think about it,” he says, leaning closer and right next to Kihyun’s ear, “the two of you taking turns filling me up, or even taking both of your cocks inside me at the same time, it would make me feel _so_ good.”

The words make Kihyun bite his lip to not shiver with lust at the proposition.

“Just let me know, hyung,” he leans back again, taking the newly-filled glass out of Kihyun’s hands and smiling innocently, “I’ll practice.”

Kihyun can’t help but chuckle at Hyungwon’s bravado as the other heads over to sit next to Minhyuk on the sofa, casually throwing one of his arms around Minhyuk’s neck.

***

This party has maybe one fifth of the people that were there Friday, which Changkyun prefers much more. He recognizes some of the faces, like Lisa with her blonde bangs and Minhyuk with his charming smile, but there are also some faces he finds familiar but can’t really recall.

He tugs slightly at his choker, still not entirely comfortable with wearing the velvet band he borrowed from Kihyun, but he thinks he looks good in it and Kihyun approved as well, so he lets it stay on and tries to ignore the discomfort it creates, feeling very tight around his neck.

It is not as if he is trying to impress anyone, but he might have spent more than an hour getting ready, trying on different shirts and jeans to see what would make him stand out a bit more, what would draw attention to his better features. He even made Kihyun do his makeup this time around, his light layer of pink lip tint matching the dainty choker adorning his pale neck.

He knows Minhyuk finds him attractive from the incident before, but he wants the other to find him memorable as well. A guy as gorgeous as the redhead probably has tons of people throwing themselves at him, but with how he went after Changkyun only minutes after they met, Changkyun figures there must be something special there, a connection maybe.

He smiles at the thought, attempting to conceal it by biting into his lower lip with light amusement and trains his eyes on the other again, who is seated across from him, next to Jooheon. They are grinning at each other, catching their breath at a story coming from Hyunwoo and Hoseok, who are still bickering about how it ended.

Kihyun is standing by the kitchen island, mixing a drink for the model DJ guy from Friday, lively chatting with him by the looks of it, seeming as if he is in a good mood. Changkyun enjoys seeing this side of Kihyun, the charming, playful side, explaining how people seem to be easily drawn in by him, like flowers stretching towards the warmth of the sun.

Changkyun takes a sip from his drink which is light on the alcohol today as he had instructed Kihyun to make it so that he wouldn’t get too drunk. He wants to make a good impression, especially since he didn’t end up texting Minhyuk after all.

The other hasn’t seemed to mind the lack of communication too much, having greeted him with a small kiss on the cheek which gave Changkyun butterflies in his stomach, and winks every now and then when their eyes have met during conversation.

To Changkyun’s disappointment, he hasn’t made any more moves on him, as if he is keeping his distance and playing it cool. Maybe if Changkyun goes to get a refill with Kihyun and then sits down between Jooheon and Minhyuk he will get a chance to maybe flirt a little, and ask the other out?

Deciding that his plan should be successful, he excuses himself to the group and gets up, heading over to the makeshift bar again, wondering what he should ask Minhyuk first. Maybe he should comment on his outfit, or his contact lenses, which today are a cold and bluish grey, making his eyes pop even more than they usually do.

Changkyun hands over his glass, which Kihyun takes and starts looking through the bottles around him before settling on a dark-green bottle filled with brown liquid Changkyun hasn’t seen before, but he trusts Kihyun to remember what he said earlier and mix him a not-too-strong drink.

Throwing a glance over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the others, he sees that his plan has been compromised as the model guy who just got a drink from Kihyun has sat down in the space where he was planning to sit down himself, right next to Minhyuk, with his arm casually hanging off the other’s shoulders. Quickly turning back to Kihyun, he tries to think of something else to do.

“What has got you thinking so hard, Changkyun-ah?” his stepbrother asks, keeping the drink from Changkyun’s hands, waiting for a reply with an eyebrow raised.

“I just can’t remember the name of the guy who you were talking to just now.” He smiles, the lie swiftly running off his tongue. Kihyun gives him a knowing look.

“That’s Chae Hyungwon. He met Minhyukkie through a photoshoot years ago and they have been _very_ close ever since.”

Not being able to help himself, he turns his head again and sees the two sitting in the same position as before, but now he notices the comfortability and familiarity between the two, with the taste of jealousy appearing sour in his mouth. Grabbing his drink from Kihyun’s grasp, he resignedly walks back to his still available seat on the opposite of them.

***

The seats have shuffled a bit as Changkyun starts on his fifth drink, the level of alcohol having increased significantly after his plan failed. He is now seated next to Hoseok and Jooheon while Chae Hyungwon is practically laying on top of Minhyuk with his hand down his shirt and his back facing the rest of the group.

Changkyun swirls his drink in the glass, and sees Hyungwon grinding down a bit, which again makes Minhyuk visibly arch up, his gaze teasingly locked with Changkyun’s.

_Shouldn’t he be focusing on Hyungwon?_

_Maybe he doesn’t actually want him?_

“Hyung, can we please go upstairs?” he hears Hyungwon’s sultry voice whine, making Minhyuk laugh. The conversation is loud enough for everyone seated around them to hear, but neither of them seems to be deterred by that.

“Aren’t you eager today?”

“Let’s just say I felt inspired.”

“If you say so.” Minhyuk grins widely, shoving Hyungwon off him as he stands up. “Kihyunnie, which room?”

Kihyun, who is smoking by the terrace door with Jisoo, just holds up his hand, showing four fingers towards the pair, not halting his conversation nor looking towards them as he does so.

The two disappear up the stairs and Changkyun tries to keep his eyes trained on his drink instead of watching how Minhyuk’s is already tugging off his belt as he walks up the stairs, following the taller man.

The conversations around him continue like before, as if this is a completely normal occurrence. Hoseok notices the look on Changkyun’s face and places his hand on Changkyun’s nape, in what he hopes can be considered a comforting manner.

“I didn’t know Minhyuk-ssi had a boyfriend.” Changkyun slurs after a while, voice low and unsure. He doesn’t know how to feel about the situation and tries his hardest to rationalize it in his own head, which is proving to be difficult considering the amount of alcohol he has had.

“He doesn’t?” Jooheon says from his other side, now noticing how Changkyun is sitting slumped against Hoseok’s side, eyes blinking heavily. Hoseok turns to him, noticing the state of the boy by his side and smiles at the youngest.

“You having fun there?” he asks Changkyun, as the other seems to wake up from his trance.

“What?” he says in a confused manner before his eyes lock onto Hoseok’s and he grins. “Hey Wonho! It’s Wonho, right?”

Hoseok can’t help but laugh at the younger and the cute expression aimed at him. He ruffles Changkyun’s hair gently, enjoying the feel of the soft strands between his fingers. “You’re not much of a drinker, are you?”

Jooheon has followed the conversation and catches Hoseok’s stare with a slightly concerned look. “He’s wasted, isn’t he?”

Hoseok just laughs and nods, letting Changkyun lean on him for a bit longer. This had seemed like a great opportunity to win the cash prize, but with the younger completely smashed and not able to say anything about it, he figures that having sex in this state would just be really wrong and not a good experience for anyone involved.

Instead, he lets Changkyun doze off next to him, gently rubbing at his neck and shoulders to make the position more comfortable for him, before he forces a slightly tipsy and very unwilling Kihyun to help him get the younger upstairs and into his room.

He leaves Kihyun to undress him as much as he is able to, getting the cute little choker off, but having to leave his shirt on as manoeuvring a sleeping teenager’s limbs through tight fabric seems like too much work for the stepbrother.

Hoseok decides to have a look around the room, scouting for something that might give him an advantage in winning the bet, and Kihyun ends up helping him after making sure Changkyun has fallen soundly asleep with less clothes on.

As the room is still relatively empty, all they can find is books on biochemistry, which Hoseok, as a full-time Instagram influencer has no interest in nor has an understanding of, and a stuffed animal in the shape of a wolf, which makes the two laughs silently, careful to not wake Changkyun’s resting form.

After deciding that there is nothing useful in Changkyun’s room, they give up and head downstairs again, emptyhanded, to re-join their friends and the party.

***

Changkyun wakes up the next day to the smell of bacon and eggs, which makes him wonder momentarily if he fell asleep by the kitchen. As his eyes flutter open and he realizes he is in his own bed, in his own room, his brows furrow in confusion, but as he locates the origin of the smell, he can’t help but to smile.

Sitting outside by the balcony door is Hoseok, balancing a full plate of food on his lap while he puts grapes into his mouth, grinning as he sees Changkyun’s head peak out from underneath the duvet.

“I have breakfast for you, come here!” he says, and although the headache starts creeping up on him alongside a light nausea, he obeys, moving sluggishly to get out of bed. “And bring the water bottle I put on your bedside table with you. You gotta stay hydrated if you wanna work off that hangover.”

He quickly finds the water bottle and drinks about a half of it, the cold water feeling refreshing and soothing down his parched throat.

“Thanks.” He says, and sits down next to Hoseok in the sun, his eyes squinting at the bright daylight. Hoseok motions for him to eat some of the food, and Changkyun reluctantly picks up a strip of bacon to nibble on it, attempting to flash a smile at the other as a silent ‘thank you’.

“Did you stay over last night?” Changkyun asks, before realizing that the question is kind of stupid. Why would Hoseok be at the house at this hour if he didn’t?

The other only smiles, stretching his arms upwards as if he has been sat in this position for a while now and needs to move his limbs. Changkyun can’t help but to stare at how his biceps are bulging, perfectly on display in his sleeveless shirt. Hoseok catches his look and smiles even wider.

“Yeah, I wanted to make sure you were alright after last night. You got pretty wasted, you know?”

Changkyun looks down at his hands, studying a tiny piece of dirt that is stuck underneath a nail to avoid the older man’s teasing gaze.

Rubbing at his neck, he finally looks up to meet Hoseok’s eyes, still squinting at the sun, and smiles sheepishly. “I guess I did. I hope I wasn’t too much of a burden yesterday.” Changkyun says and thinks of Kihyun who must have been annoyed with him for getting that drunk.

As if Hoseok has read his mind, he scoffs and reaches over to lightly massage his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. If you can stand living alone with Kihyun, you definitely deserve some downtime to get hammered. In fact, I think it’s needed.”

Changkyun frowns and sidles up to Hoseok. “Why do you guys all speak about Kihyun as if he is a bother?”

Hoseok shrugs and puts away the plate with the rest of the food which has remained almost untouched by Changkyun, to trace the tips of his fingers lightly on Changkyun’s thigh, making him painfully aware that he is only wearing the shirt he slept in as well as his boxer briefs.

“Because he is one, I guess. On one side, he is a great guy, he can be the best friend you’ll ever have, all caring and loving, but on the other side, he is secretive and selfish, and can treat you like dirt when all you did was trying to help him or care about him. It is never easy with when it comes to Kihyun.”

“That’s a depressing way to describe a friend.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Kihyun. He’s more dear to me than most of the other people in my life, but sometimes I wish he would just wake up and realize what he’s doing to the people who care about him, and to himself.”

Changkyun doesn’t know how to respond to that. His stepbrother is starting to seem more and more like a puzzle he has only ever discovered the frame of, missing the most vital parts of the centre piece to make the image complete.

“Do you know who “Mr. Idol” is?” he instead asks, looking up at Hoseok, to try to alleviate the uncomfortable tension. To his surprise, Hoseok laughs heartily, but doesn’t say anything.

“Kihyun keeps disappearing to “meetings” and I think it’s with that “Mr. Idol” person, but he won’t tell me anything about it. Who is this “Mr. Idol” to him? Is it his boyfriend?”

Hoseok shakes his head with a bittersweet smile and looks towards the cityscape. “More like his downfall.” He mutters under his breath, low enough for Changkyun not to catch the words.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

The fingertips have long stopped tracing patterns into his thigh, and Changkyun finds himself missing the light touch. “What about you? Do you have someone?”

Hoseok turns his head, making Changkyun realize the lack of space between the two even more. “No, I haven’t had the time to date since my profile became well-known, and I haven’t really met someone worth spending time on.”

As he says the words, his hand reaches out to push a dark lock of Changkyun’s hair away from his face.

“People didn’t pay a lot of attention to me before I became popular, and suddenly everyone wanted something from me. That makes it hard to figure out who’s in it for the long run and who’s with me for all the wrong reasons.”

 _His voice is so soft_ , Changkyun thinks and gulps. “I hope you have some people you can trust.” He manages to get out, attempting to maintain eye contact with the other who just smiles sweetly at him, Hoseok’s gaze flickering down to his lips.

“Yeah,” he says, voice now huskier and lower, “you know, real recognizes real.”

Changkyun’s breath hitches, looking up at the other with wide eyes, and for a swift second, he wonders what it would be like to kiss Hoseok. He seems like such a rational and genuine guy, mature in both his words and actions, and it leaves Changkyun tingling on the inside.

Hesitantly, he reaches over, placing a hand on Hoseok’s firm thigh, feeling the muscle move underneath it, and slowly inches forward, subconsciously biting into his lower lip.

“And you seem very real to me.” Hoseok finishes, looking deeply into Changkyun’s eyes, making the other swallow before he gathers his courage to close the distance between them. Hoseok doesn’t seem too surprised at the action and quickly kisses Changkyun back, his lips feeling soft and pliant against Changkyun’s own.

Hoseok’s hand reaches up to cup Changkyun’s face, feeling the other sigh into the kiss. He leans back a bit, their foreheads still close together as he strokes Changkyun’s cheek gently.

“Maybe I could be real to you too?” he murmurs, looking into Changkyun’s eyes, but Changkyun just shushes him, effectively cutting his next words off by capturing Hoseok’s lips with his own, this time with more intensity in his actions.

Hoseok reciprocates, and bites down onto Changkyun’s lower lip, making him moan as he deepens the kiss. His hand moves down towards Changkyun’s nipple, playfully pinching the bud through his shirt making the other gasp. Right after, they hear three short raps on the bedroom door which make Changkyun jolt away from Hoseok, scrambling to get off the ground.

“ _Changkyun, are you awake?”_ he hears Minhyuk’s cheerful voice through the door. “ _Kihyun wants you downstairs._ ” Changkyun’s huffs, annoyance etched on his face.

“Ahh, fuck.” Hoseok swears, running a hand through his hair.

Changkyun blushes and readjusts his shirt so it covers his underwear. He picks up a pair of shorts laying discarded on the floor which he promptly puts on and hurries out the door, but not before sending a bright smile to Hoseok.

Hoseok remains seated in the doorway as Minhyuk enters the room to lean against the doorway, taking in Hoseok’s resigned look with curiosity.

“Man, I was _this_ close.” He huffs, covering his eyes with his palm.

“Close to what, baby?” he asks with feigned ignorance, grinning playfully.

“Kihyun-ah’s stepbrother, Minhyuk. He was all over me just now, practically gagging for it.”

Minhyuk laughs and lowers himself down to comfortably straddle Hoseok’s strong thighs. “Did you get interrupted too?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Yeah, by you and Kihyun. I swear, I’m gonna win this bet so easily.”

“Are you forgetting how he looked when I went upstairs to fuck Hyungwon yesterday? It was like watching a kicked puppy, he was almost crying with jealousy.” Minhyuk says confidently.

Hoseok rests his hands on Minhyuk’s waist, smirking up at him. “Babe, he trusts me and shit. There’s no way I’m not winning this.”

Minhyuk leans down to place a sloppy, wet kiss on Hoseok’s red and slightly swollen lips.

“Okay,” he says, his hand teasingly wandering under the waistband of Hoseok’s pants, “Let’s add 100 000 won to Kihyun’s original offering, between the two of us to whoever gets with him first.”

Hoseok groans as Minhyuk’s hand starts working his cock slowly, but bites down hard on his lip to ground himself. “You’re on, baby. You just wait and see.”

Clutching Minhyuk’s hand to stop the movement, he stands up, holding the other tightly in his embrace and carries him inside the apartment again, and out of Changkyun’s room to find them an available one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun protection squad, where you at? You're obviously needed haha..
> 
> Thanks for the support! Please let me know what you think in the comments! I live for them! :D


	6. 지나갈 테니 Been Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> First I wanna say thank you so much for the comments! I didn't expect so much feedback at all, so it made me both overwhelmed and extremely happy to see it! I hope you guys will keep following my story and give me feedback on it :) I will respond to them as soon as possible, just know I read them and really appreciate them!
> 
> This chapter is a bit smaller than usual, but I still hope you like it!

It is Friday evening.

They are lying on the stiff, black leather couch in Mr. Im’s study, the sunset colouring the room in dewy shades of pink and orange, which blends perfectly into Kihyun’s already flushed skin.

He is propped up against the armrest with Hyunwoo comfortably lounging between his legs, pressing gentle, open-mouthed kisses on the side of his neck and down his shoulder to his chest.

There is nothing hurried about the situation they are in. Kihyun is all soft and responsive, which is one of the sides to him that Hyunwoo loves the most; when he is calm and relaxed with nothing else on his mind but the two of them in the moment together.

Hyunwoo lifts himself up, hands leaned on the armrest for leverage to hover over Kihyun who reaches up to stroke his palms over Hyunwoo’s firm pecs and shoulders before cupping his face gently. Arching up to reach, he puts a gentle kiss on the other’s plush lips before relaxing again, looking up at Hyunwoo who is smiling warmly down on him, eyes full of affection.

“Hyung, stop looking at me like that.” He murmurs, with no conviction in his voice. He loves having Hyunwoo’s undivided attention, especially like this. Hyunwoo’s eyes crinkle at the words as he leans down again to nestle against Kihyun while still making sure he’s not crushing the other with his weight.

“Like what?”

Not wanting to reply to the teasing, Kihyun wraps his arms around the other as he kisses him languidly, making Hyunwoo forget all about the conversation, fully immersed in the embrace.

He manages to flip them over, so he is lying on his back with Kihyun’s lithe form draped across his own body, fingers slowly tracing the exposed skin of his back down to the waistband of his jeans and underwear, skimming the edges of the fabric before returning upwards.

Suddenly, the sound of strong vibrations against a wooden surface is heard, making the two of them turn towards the large office desk where Kihyun left his phone earlier. He scoffs at the noise, before bending down to again capture Hyunwoo’s lips with his own as the phone keeps vibrating. After a while, Hyunwoo reluctantly turns his head away from Kihyun’s mouth and tries to sit up, looking over at the phone again.

“Are you going to answer that?”

Kihyun looks over and sighs. Stealing a glance towards the clock on the wall, he sees that it’s almost eight and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t have to check his phone to understand who the caller is.

“They probably just released the pictures from today.”

“Pictures?” Hyunwoo asks curiously. “I thought you went to a business dinner?”

“I did. It was particularly successful dinner for my father, exposure-wise, as the CEO of the entertainment company we met up with brought a newly-debuted and popular rookie girl group with him which probably were given strict instructions to make an impression on us.”

Hyunwoo’s brows furrows at that. “I still don’t understand where the pictures come in?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and climbs off of Hyunwoo’s lap, scanning the ground for his sweater which he unceremoniously took off and threw on the floor as their kisses became increasingly more heated.

All he feels now is the chill evening air coming in from an open window. He finds the sweater hanging off the desk lamp and puts it on again, no longer in the mood to mess around.

“There were fans there, of course, with their DSLR’s, snapping photos of their beloved idols, especially of the most popular member and visual who was all snuggled up with the heir of the controlling-stake holder of her company, young socialite Yoo Kihyun.”

His voice is passive, emotionless, sounding much more tired than he did earlier. Supporting himself on the desk, he leans back facing Hyunwoo who is still seated on the couch, a concerned look etched on his face.

Hyunwoo takes his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and taps "Yoo Kihyun" into the search engine, and sure enough, recent articles from gossip sites display candid pictures from the restaurant as the party was leaving.

Quite few of them show Kihyun, looking as breathtakingly beautiful as ever, with a young-looking girl next to him, too close for comfort.

“It’s probably a good thing, really,” Kihyun says and looks down, studying the cuffs of his jeans, “with my father trusting me more with business deals, knowing I’ll do whatever he expects of me.” He chuckles sardonically, a small smile forming on his lips. “He’ll be especially happy when there’s no longer rumours about me liking men.”

Hyunwoo gets up and strides over to Kihyun, tilting his head upwards and giving him a short but forceful and passionate kiss, caressing his cheek gently as he pulls away, their foreheads still touching.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right, Kihyun-ah?”

He holds Kihyun’s stare with his own, forcing him to answer by maintaining the intense eye-contact. Kihyun wants to look away but finds that he can’t. Hyunwoo’s sincerity feels painful in his chest as he senses his resolves break. He tilts his head to kiss the other back to refrain from answering, but Hyunwoo won’t have it.

“Kihyun-ah?” he says, attempting to lean away from Kihyun’s desperate kisses, while still cupping his face.

The phone starts vibrating again and Kihyun turns around and out of Hyunwoo’s grip to look at the display. It reads “Mr. Idol".  _As expected_ , Kihyun thinks to himself as he declines the call.

“That’s who’s been blowing up your phone, then.” Hyunwoo says, voice low as he steps away from Kihyun, making the other miss the warmth of his proximity immediately.

“Yeah, you know how jealous he gets when he sees me with other people, no matter how many times he reminds me that we’re nothing more than friends who fuck. He should be happy, me being linked to a girl group member from a different company than his is as good of a cover as any for keeping suspicions at bay, I’d say.”

Kihyun inspects his nails, all neat and newly manicured as instructed by his father. He finds that the shiny layer of clear nail polish has chipped off on his thumb, annoying him to no end, when Hyunwoo speaks again, voice as gentle as always.

“You know you deserve someone who’s not afraid of being seen with you, Kihyun-ah.”

Kihyun’s gaze goes dark in seconds as he looks over at Hyunwoo, his eyes glowering and shoulders tensing up, hands tightly gripping the sturdy desk. The phone starts to vibrate again behind him, but he still ignores it.

“I think you should leave.” He seethes, looking straight forward towards the piano at the back of the room, and ignoring Hyunwoo’s worried gaze.

“Kihyun-ah…” he repeats, picking his t-shirt up off the floor, clutching it tightly in his hand.

“Now!” Kihyun screams towards him, breathing heavily. The force of his movement makes one of the smaller picture frames standing on the desk fall down onto the hard, unforgiving ground and shatter into pieces between them. Hyunwoo looks down at the mess before looking back up at Kihyun and walks hurriedly out the door, his t-shirt in his hand.

Kihyun still breathes hard, furiously rubbing his nose with the back of his fist and bends down to assess the damage with shaking hands. He picks up the remains of the frame and sees that the picture has remained unscathed despite the glass covering it ending up completely smashed. The image shows baby Changkyun dressed all in blue looking down at his tiny hands as a woman stands next to him, watching him as she smiles.

He takes the picture and sits down on the office chair, pushing his hand into his jeans pocket to pull out a small bag of coke. He empties half the bag down onto the desktop and uses the picture to divide the substance into thin, white lines. Glancing at the picture once again, he dries a stray tear from his cheek and throws the picture away. He rummages through the desk drawers and finds a 50 000 note in one of them which he rolls tightly.

Kihyun snorts two lines after each other, rubbing his nose afterwards to make sure there is no excess on it before finishing the last three. He leans back in the chair and relaxes, using the sleeve of his sweater to dry the last tears from his face.

Then his phone rings for the fourth time. He picks it up of the desk, sees the familiar caller I.D., and this time, he answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really excited when someone started guessing who Kihyun's secret lover was! It will be revealed soon, but for now, keep guessing!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for your support! Let me know what you think in the comments! :)


	7. 花요일 Blooming Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter! Thank you guys so much for all the comments on the last chapter! I was seriously overwhelmed by the support, and I appreciate it so much when you guys give me feedback on what I write, be it good or bad! I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter just as much!
> 
> Additionally, I'll give you guys an overview of important ages in the story so that behaviour and honorific-use make more sense!  
> Hyunwoo - 23  
> Jisoo - 22  
> Hoseok - 22  
> Minhyuk - 21  
> Kihyun - 21  
> Hyungwon - 21  
> Jennie - 21  
> Jooheon - 20  
> Chaeyoung - 20  
> Lisa - 20  
> Changkyun - 19
> 
> Essentially, Monsta X are 3 years younger than their actual age. I hoped that cleared up any confusion!  
> Enjoy reading!  
> 

**To: Mr. Idol**

_Hyung_

_You haven’t texted in a while_

_Too busy having fun with your_  
_jailbait fangirls?_

**From: Mr. Idol**

_That’s more your style, don’t_ _  
_you think?__

**To: Mr. Idol**

_Hyung_

_You’re not still mad about_  
_that, are you?_

 _I don’t even like girls, I think_  
_you know that very well_

_Why do you care either way?_

_Come on, I can see you’ve_  
_read the message_

 _Are you seriously going to_  
_leave me on read???_

_????_

***

After spending a good two weeks ogling the clear turquoise water filling the small pool on the balcony of the apartment, Changkyun has finally decided to buy some swimming trunks. Back at Andover, he would often head out to the pool complex to swim laps to clear his head in the exam seasons and when he felt like doing some other exercise than his usual dancing provided.

After an embarrassing episode at the beginning of the finals period this year, when his shorts embarrassingly had torn at the crotch, he had never gotten around to buy a new pair, with graduation and the last months of high school looming in addition to the mortifying memories of the lifeguard’s shocked expression.

Changkyun had initially wanted to ask Kihyun to join him on his little shopping spree, as he definitely would know where to go, but he had practically disappeared Friday night. They had been watching a daytime variety show before Kihyun had left for dinner with his dad and had greeted each other briefly as he returned to the apartment with Hyunwoo in tow, but when Changkyun came back later in the evening after running some errands, there were no signs of either of the two.

Unlike last time, Kihyun actually texted Changkyun to tell him his whereabouts before he had time to start worrying. He told him that Hyungwon and Hoseok had decided to leave for Busan that night to visit a friend and they had invited him to tag along. The three of them would be back sometime later in the week, Kihyun not having mentioned any specific date or time.

Changkyun did not mind having the house to himself again, alternating between reading his father’s books and teaching himself new songs on the piano, spending the majority of his time in the grand study, but after four days of solitude with no one to talk to but his own reflection and a strong wish to go swimming, he decides to leave for the busy streets of Seoul to do some shopping.

Armed with a list on his phone of stores Kihyun had sent him, and his credit card, he heads out, opting to take the metro instead of a car, as he doesn’t have a driver’s licence or a car of his own, nor does he want to bother their driver. Changkyun is not planning on spending a fortune either, even if he has brought the black credit card his father gave him when he turned 18. Just a few things to improve his wardrobe and to decorate his room with.

Out of all the stores on Kihyun’s long list he had looked up online the day before, there is one in particular he really wants to go to. It is a streetwear store in Itaewon which seems to have a great mix of brands Changkyun likes so he decides to head there first.

He arrives in front of the building after getting lost twice and being forced to use the Maps function on his phone to find the way. The store gives off a certain vibe as there are only a few customers there who all are decked out in trendy garments, bum bags and tiny sunglasses, making Changkyun a little hesitant as he enters. There is also a guy who is dressed similarly to the others but seems to be working there as he is currently helping a girl try on some chunky sneakers.

Changkyun greets the worker as he walks in and heads over to one of the silver metal racks to scan through the sweatshirts on display. The final message Kihyun had sent him when he asked for stores to visit was “don’t buy more black things unless they’re high-end,” so he tries to avoid his usual preferences of dark shades, sifting through the more colourful shirts instead.

He picks out a red flannel shirt as well as a blue, graphic-printed denim jacket and feels satisfied with his efforts. Even though the shirt has black stripes, the majority of it is still fiercely red so Kihyun should be satisfied with his selection.

As he walks over to the counter to pay, Changkyun spots a pair of dark blue swimming trunks lying in a pile of swim wear on a table display next to it. Although the swim shorts are blue, the shade is so dark that it almost passes as black, which is why Changkyun decides he needs to have them.

The pair he found was one size too big for him, and he can’t seem to find another pair, so he looks around for an available employee to ask whether or not they have other sizes too.

The man he saw when he entered the shop is still busy with the female buyer, so when Changkyun makes eye contact with him, the worker only looks back with an apologetic expression as he disappears out back with two shoeboxes stacked on his arm.

Trying to test his luck and go through the pile again to see if he could have overlooked a pair, Changkyun starts digging through it, but is soon interrupted by a warm hand on his shoulder. Startled, he turns around and stands face to face with two familiar half-moons.

“Jooheon, hi! What are you doing here?”

Jooheon keeps smiling at him and tugs lightly at the black lanyard around his neck, with the white store logo on it. “I thought it was obvious.”

Changkyun scans the lanyard, his head filling with confusion. “You work here?”

After getting to know most of Kihyun’s friends, Changkyun had just assumed by default that they all came from wealthy or well-known families, but he seems to have been mistaken here, unless Jooheon owns the store. For some reason, he has a feeling that it is not the case.

“Yeah, I do, so can I help you with anything?” Jooheon asks with a chuckle. “My co-worker told me there was a guy by the swimwear section who was looking kind of stressed out.”

Changkyun’s face reddens at that and he scratches the back of his head in an embarrassed manner. He still feels as if the musician he was introduced to earlier seems weirdly out of place as a retail worker, but he shakes the thoughts off.

“Yeah, I guess I sort of am.” He replies in a sheepish manner and picks up the blue pair again. “It’s just that, I found these shorts and I really like them, but I can’t find them in my size.”

Jooheon nods at him as he explains, looking at the pair Changkyun is holding. “Those have been selling like crazy, so I know for a fact that they are currently sold out in that colour. That one is the last pair we have at the moment.”

Changkyun’s face falls at the other’s words and Jooheon can’t help but chuckle at his cute expression.

“But,” he starts again and sees the light return immediately to Changkyun’s eyes, “a new batch will arrive here tomorrow, so I can reserve a pair for you and you can drop by whenever you have the time this week and pick them up. Does that sound good?”

Changkyun grins at the other. “I’ll come back tomorrow, then. Thank you so much, Jooheon, I really appreciate it!”

“Anything for my friends.” He says with a wink and motions towards the other clothes in Changkyun’s hands. “Do you want to pay for those now, or take it all when the shorts are here as well?”

“I’ll pay for these now.”

As Jooheon starts taking the safety tags off, Changkyun studies him discretely as he works. He is still contemplating asking Jooheon why he is working there, but it doesn’t seem like the right time or place, so when the other hands him the bag with his new clothes in, he politely thanks him another time and simply says goodbye before leaving the store.

***

**To: Mr. Idol**

_We went to Busan_

_The beach here looks amazing_

_[IMG-WA0106.jpg]_

_Did I mention I bought new_  
_swimming shorts?_

 _They make my butt look great,_  
_right?_

 _I hope you and the rest are_  
_doing well_

 _Good luck for the show_  
_tonight!_

_I know you’ll be great_

***

When he wakes up the next day, Changkyun decides to take things slowly and stays in bed for the longest time before getting up. After eating lunch, he starts to decorate his room with the stuff he bought on his trip yesterday, to make the room more “his”, just like Mrs. Yoo told him to do.

He bought some stylish posters to cover the walls of his room with. Not nearly as many as he had had at Andover, but enough for the walls to have a less plain and boring feel to them.

The spaces are now covered with telescope pictures of outer space and illustrations of constellations, Changkyun mostly sticking to a space theme, but he had also found a small black and white GOT7 print which he knew would fit perfectly into the new aesthetics of the room, so he decided to buy it. It is strategically placed by the large mirror so that it will remain unnoticed if someone just stands by the door, but it is hanging close enough, so nothing is disrupting the view when Changkyun is laying in his bed.

Changkyun had bought another idol group print as a half-gag-half-serious gift to Kihyun, as he had found a similar poster of EXO in the store where he had found his own.

Changkyun figured that since Kihyun had been blasting their latest Christmas album from the apartment’s large home sound system in June, he had to at least enjoy their music a little more than every other person, so he would probably either laugh at it or be happy about the little present.

It is currently laying wrapped up in a cardboard cylinder leaned on the bookshelf and will probably stay there attracting dust until Kihyun returns from his trip.

Other than the posters, Changkyun also bought another plushie, which has joined the wolf on his bed, and some other trinkets he has put on the window sill and in the bookshelf next to his textbooks.

In Changkyun’s opinion, the room now has a distinctively more “Changkyun” feel to it, making it more comfortable and more home-feeling than it had felt when he first arrived in Seoul.

Most of the clothes he bought yesterday are still spread out across the bed from when he had tried them on earlier in front of the mirror.

After getting lucky in the first store, he had gone to some of the other shops which Kihyun recommended and it really seemed as if Kihyun knew Changkyun’s style better than he did himself.

New additions to his closet include a soft light-pink hoodie and a white oversized sweater, as well as a pair of stonewashed jeans shorts. He had also bought a silky and thin white shirt and some choker necklaces similar to the ones Kihyun own, having blushed furiously at the suggestively smirking saleswoman in the store where he bought the items from.

“Kihyun will so proud.” Changkyun jokes out loud with a smile as he fiddles with the soft fabric of the shirt. He doesn’t know why he keeps seeking Kihyun’s approval so much, maybe it is some kind of weird fraternal instinct that has emerged after he started feeling comfortable around his stepbrother? Or he would not say he is completely comfortable, but at least more comfortable than he was when he first arrived around two weeks ago.

Changkyun carefully hangs the piece in his closet next to the blue jacket from Jooheon’s store, the item pulling his thoughts towards the other and the shorts he was supposed to pick up today.

He curses himself for forgetting all about it, looking over at the black alarm clock on his nightstand which tells him that it is too late to make it to the store in time before it closes.

Clearing his bed of the rest of his newly-bought clothes, carefully folding them and putting them in their right place, Changkyun throws himself down on the large, soft bed, looking up into the celling, and wonders what his stepbrother is up to right now.

***

**To: Mr. Idol**

_When will you be back here?_

_I forgot what you told me_  
_last time we met_

 _It’s easier to follow when you_  
_have shows in Korea haha_

_Good luck tonight!_

_❤_

***

“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna show up.”

Changkyun runs his fingers through his dark locks with a sheepish smile on his mouth. He spots the other man leaning against the counter, fiddling with his lanyard and grinning back at him, seemingly enjoying the visible nervousness of Changkyun’s mannerisms.

“I got so caught up fixing my room I completely lost track of the time.” He explains himself as he walks over to Jooheon.

“I see,” he starts as he stands up, “lucky for you, the trunks are still where I hid them, just lying there waiting for their new owner.”

Jooheon’s smile grows even wider as Changkyun laughs at his words, before he disappears out the backdoor to collect the item.

Looking around the store, he notices that it is void of customers today. Changkyun assumes it is due to it still being relatively early in the day for shopping, being in the early afternoon and all.

“Here you go! A brand-new pair of dark blues.” Jooheon chimes as he returns with a neatly folded pair of shorts, making Changkyun’s eyes light up at the sight of the garment, already picturing himself in the water. “You never told me your size, so I had to do some guessing, but I’m pretty sure these should be fine.”

Changkyun blushes slightly at his forgetfulness but collects his composure as he checks the tag and the size is indeed the one he needed.

He quickly pays and puts the receipt in his wallet, but as he is about to take the bag from Jooheon, the other maintains his grip on it.

“Do you want to hang out?” Jooheon asks, his irresistible smile blinding Changkyun.

“Yeah, sure.” He replies hesitantly, his eyes trailing down to the lanyard around Jooheon’s neck. It is not like they haven’t hung out before, like at Jooheon’s studio and briefly at the party, but even in the studio, they hadn’t spent that much time alone together.

“My shift just ended, give me a minute to grab my things. I know a place we can go for a late lunch.”

Changkyun nods at that and lingers by the till as Jooheon disappears out back again. He returns moments later, a worn leather jacket hanging off his shoulders and a black tote bag in hand, all ready to go. He waves goodbye to his co-worker and ushers Changkyun towards the door.

The weather is beautiful, so they decide to walk. About 15 minutes later, they arrive at the location, which is a white brick building with the restaurant’s kitschy logo glaring at them from the street. It is located in a nice area filled to the brim with other restaurants and bars, the lively streets filled with both locals and what looks like tourists.

“I swear it’s better than it looks.” Jooheon comments, eying the sign and the colourful to the point of garish menus covering the fencing of the outdoor seating area, making Changkyun chuckle. He follows the other inside and sits down, placing his bag underneath the table as they receive the menu from a waitress.

It seems as if Jooheon has brought him to an American burger joint, the food being localized versions of street food specialities from the States. Changkyun feels a sting of longing as he scans the menu and recognizes the names of the dishes, even if they are written in hangul.

The waitress returns and casually chats with Jooheon, her dainty hand lingering comfortably on his shoulder as they laugh together at something she said. The two know each other well by the looks of it.

They both finish ordering and as the waitress heads off, a heavy silence ensues, making Changkyun fidget in his seat, trying to come up with a conversation topic. He looks up at Jooheon, who laughs at him.

“Calm down, Changkyun-ah, I’m not going to jump you like Minhyuk-hyung and Hoseok-hyung did. I get laid enough to leave you alone.”

Changkyun freezes. “You know about that?” he asks mortified, looking at Jooheon with worry clouding his eyes.

Jooheon leans back in his seat, smile still lingering on his mouth, which does nothing to calm Changkyun’s stress levels which are currently going through the roof.

“Nothing really stays secret in our group, especially when it comes to sex.” He says reassuringly, tilting his head to the side. “We have all fucked each other too many times, so it becomes a big deal when someone new shows up.”

Changkyun tries to process the information, to let it sink in before he speaks again. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like them before.”

Jooheon laughs at that and thanks the waitress with a wink as she brings the drinks they ordered. Changkyun takes a sip of the beverage and studies the man in front of him.

For the first time, Changkyun realizes how good-looking the other is. While Minhyuk is very beautiful and Hoseok is ruggedly handsome, Jooheon has a more gentle and effortless charm to him, the now-familiar grin feeling warm and welcoming. The white locks of his hair are adorning his face prettily, even with the dark roots more visible than ever.

“Why do they call you Honey?” Changkyun asks when he realizes that he has been staring for quite some time.

“Because I’m _sweet like honey!_ ” Jooheon exclaims cutely in English, making Changkyun laugh heartily at the act. “You can blame your brother for that nickname actually, since he was the one who started using it. Kihyun-hyung has always had a weird obsession with English nicknames.”

 _That explains Mr. Idol,_ Changkyun muses.

“I feel like Kihyun does a lot of weird things. Weird habits, weird mood swings, weird relationships, he’s kind of just a big mess, really.” He says jokingly, but the smile dies down when he sees the unamused look Jooheon gives him.

“You shouldn’t talk about your brother like that.” He says soberly, sitting up straight. “There’s much more to him than his idiosyncrasies.”

Changkyun feels chastised, but leans forward in an understanding manner, waiting for Jooheon to keep talking and explain what he means by that. Their food arrives, and Changkyun picks up a fry to chew on.

“A few years ago, I realized I had had enough of being a trainee. The idol lifestyle didn’t really appeal to me as much as it used to when I was younger and more hopeful. Most of my friends at JYP had already debuted and I was much more into rapping and producing than I was dancing, so I thought it was time to do something about it. I talked to the higher ups and tried to explain my situation, hoping that they would keep me on as a rapper and song-writer, but I was still young and too much of a risk for them to waste resources on. Especially since they already had plenty of experienced lyricists at hand. They allowed me to leave and find another entertainment company who would be willing to gamble on me, nullifying my contract with little hassle. The day everything was finalized I went home to move back in with my parents as I couldn’t stay at the dorms anymore. I showed up with my bags and told them what had happened, my decision and how I had ended my contract with JYP. I guess that to say they didn’t take it too well would be an understatement. I do understand their reasons though, having spent so much of their time and money, allowing me to audition and follow my dreams instead of staying in school; sacrificing so much for me to just throw it all away like that.”

Picking at his untouched food, Jooheon pauses and takes a deep, shuddering breath before he continues, the topic clearly difficult for him to discuss. “They couldn’t accept what I had done and told me to leave and not come back again, so I did. I had turned away from an opportunity most kids could only dream of and had more or less been disowned by my own parents on the same day. It’s safe to say that I had no clue what to do. Then Kihyun called me as I was sitting on a bench looking out at the Han river with my bags scattered all around me, prepared to stay the night right there, and he asked me where I was. I hadn’t said a word to anyone, but somehow, he just knew something was wrong. He picked me up and took me in, no questions asked, and let me stay in the apartment until I managed to score the deal with Starship and found a new place to live with a job on the side to help pay for it.”

Another pause, and this time he takes a large bite out of the burger, reminding Changkyun to eat as well before the food gets cold. Jooheon swallows it down and keeps talking.

“You know, when he found the listing, Kihyun told me the apartment had a parking space included. I only found out later that he had been paying the rental fee for it so that I could afford to keep my car.”

Changkyun looks at the other, astounded by the story. It is not as if he thought that Kihyun was the devil’s incarnate or someone purely selfish and self-absorbed, but this is the first time someone has spoken about his stepbrother in such a fiercely protective manner.

It makes Changkyun feel warm inside, happy that Kihyun has lived surrounded by people who really care about him.

He also thinks about the man sitting opposite of him, and how strong he must be. Changkyun can’t even begin to comprehend how parents can disown their own son. He doesn’t even know what he would have done if he was in that same situation as Jooheon was, shuddering at the mere thought of it. Jooheon must also have quite the mix of talent and luck, having found a company willing to bet on his talents and allowing him to have a part-time job on the side.

Jooheon effectively breaks the silence again, putting his can of Coke down on the table with force, creating a loud noise. Changkyun looks up and focuses on him again, having been completely lost and immersed in his own thoughts seconds before.

“So! Enough about Kihyun and my little sob story. Tell me more about yourself, something I don’t know already.”

Changkyun smiles shyly and relaxes into his chair before he starts telling Jooheon all about America and Andover, about his weird Chemistry teacher from his junior year and the German guy in his dorm who would always sleepwalk around exam periods.

It is easy and comfortable, the conversation flowing naturally as if they have known each other for ages, and neither of them notice the time passing until the waitress informs them that their table has been reserved for a dinner party. They both laugh at their lack of awareness and starts to get up.

Jooheon insists on paying for both their meals, and Changkyun allows him if he promises that he gets to pay for their next meal, to which Jooheon happily agrees to. They walk together to Changkyun’s metro stop, as Jooheon has to leave in another direction.

“Today was really nice. We should do it again sometime.” Jooheon says, clutching his jacket in his hand as it is still too hot outside to be wearing heavy leather.

“We should!” Changkyun responds with a grin, excited that he has gained closer friendship with the other. “You have my number, right?”

Jooheon smiles widely again, his eyes turning into sweet half-moons which Changkyun finds incredibly endearing.

“Yeah, I’ll message you later!”

Changkyun smiles at that as they say their farewells, leaving in different directions, both with bright smiles on their faces.

*******

**From: Mr. Idol**

_Kihyun-ah_

_Can you please stop calling me?_

_I’ll message you once I’m back  
in Seoul_

_I’m really busy right now_

**To: Mr. Idol**

_Okay_

_I'll see you then_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone hanging out with Changkyun, without an agenda? sounds fake but ok...
> 
> Thank you guys for all the support you give me and for reading my story!  
> Leave your thoughts in the comments!


	8. 어디서 뭐해 (MOHAE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends! 
> 
> Here's the new chapter for you, hopefully making up for the wait I put you guys through haha!
> 
> Please bear in mind the warnings from my first author note: if you are uncomfortable with nsfw/dark themes, please make a decision if you want to keep reading or not! The story is marked as explicit for a reason. Just wanted to put this here as a reminder!
> 
> I really thought the story would be more fluffy and happy than it ended up being, and I can only apologize for that. Sometimes life doesn't go the way we plan it, right? :) Maybe my next work will be kinder on my characters!
> 
> I hope you'll like it and enjoy reading! :D

“It was so funny, and also this other girl kept following us for ages and Hyungwon had to call one of his friends to pose as a security guard so that we would be left in peace.” Kihyun laughs from where he is lounged on Changkyun’s bed, the large black overnight bag lying on the floor next to him from where he disposed of it when he slung himself down a few minutes ago.

Changkyun is sitting on the window sill closest to of him, book in hand, and grins as the older tells him about his little adventure. He has never been down south to Busan himself, but from how Kihyun talks about it, it must be pretty great there, especially now that the summer is fully settling in the country.

“Hoseok-hyung is way too nice to say no to his fans, so if it wasn’t for Hyungwon, she probably would have kept trailing us for ages.” Kihyun sighs, checks his phone quickly for notifications before he flings it back down onto the other side of the bed in an exasperated manner. “This summer is passing really fucking slow, isn’t it?”

Changkyun only shrugs in response. He has been in Seoul for close to a month now, but somehow it still feels as if he just arrived and bid farewell to their parents a few days ago. It is already the middle of July, and Changkyun wishes he was able to stop time for a while for him to breathe and take it all in.

“What did you even do while I was away?” Kihyun asks, turning his head to face Changkyun. “Did you make use of the list?”

“Yeah, I did actually.” He responds with a small smile. “I went shopping, hung out with friends...”

Kihyun’s brows furrow as Changkyun trails off. “Friends? Do you have friends here?”

Changkyun reddens lightly and splutters “Yeah, I’ve been hanging out with Jooheon actually.”

After the meal they shared, Jooheon had messaged him to make sure he had gotten home alright, and while his texting was still almost intelligible, Changkyun had found himself really enjoying their following conversations, quickly getting used to Jooheon’s messy way of writing.

They had ended up meeting quite a few times within the short time span between their first meal and now, getting together to eat or explore the surrounding areas together whenever Jooheon had time off from work and his schedule.

The two have gotten along really well, and Changkyun considers this his favourite part of the summer so far. Jooheon is interesting and funny and seems to have a genuine interest in Changkyun’s life before he moved back to Seoul. Changkyun will even go as far as to say that he prefers these small moments with the rapper to attending Kihyun’s racy parties.

Changkyun would definitely say he found it much more exiting to hang out with the rapper than attending Kihyun’s parties.

“Jooheon, huh?” Kihyun says, his gaze once again focused towards the ceiling. “I leave town for a couple of days and you’re already stealing my friends?”

Changkyun’s eyes widen at the words, not able to decipher his tone until Kihyun sits up and starts laughing.

“Don’t worry, Changkyun. You seem to have made a good impression after all, they all really like you.”

Changkyun looks down at his hands, a small smile forming on his lips.

“Anyways,” Kihyun starts and stretches his limbs out like a cat on the bed, “I’ve been summoned for another business dinner with my father on Friday, which means we are throwing a party tomorrow. You better look good, especially if you want to impress Jooheon, right?”

Changkyun blushes and looks around the room to fix his eyes anywhere but on his stepbrother. Looking over at the bookshelf, he spots the cardboard poster tube and perks up.

“I got you something, hyung!” he says, hurrying over to pick it up before lobbing it over to Kihyun, who jolts up to catch it, narrowing his eyes to show his annoyance at the younger before fumbling to get the cylinder opened.

Popping the lid open, he gingerly pulls the poster out and unrolls it, a bright smile taking over his face.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll take it myself,” Changkyun says, walking over and settling down opposite of Kihyun, “it was just there in the store I got my GOT7 poster from and I thought of you since you’ve been singing “Universe” and “Been Through” a lot so I thought you’d like it, and it wasn’t even expensive or anything, but it’s totally fine if you don’t like it, you probably think it’s childish or lam-”

“I really like it, Changkyunnie, thank you so much.” He says, effectively shutting off Changkyun’s nervous rambling and instead making him grin at Kihyun. “Our JYP loyalists won’t be too pleased, though.”

The small, yet devious smirk curling into his mouth tells Changkyun that their disapproval won’t bother him the slightest, so he just laughs along with the other.

***

“Take the first half now and if you feel like you’re starting to come down, just take the other, but a half should probably be enough.” Hyungwon says from where he’s perched on the bathroom sink. “It’s pretty strong stuff.”

Kihyun scoffs at the other as he finishes blending the brown and pink shades of his eyeshadow together, giving his expression a sexy look, the light pink lip tint layer adding to the whole effect.

“As long as it’s nothing like the shit you gave me last time, I’ll be good, Wonwonnie.”

Hyungwon scrunches his nose at that, about to apologize when Kihyun cuts him off.

“I told you we’re good so don’t worry about it.” He says, smiling reassuringly at the younger.

“If you say so, hyung.” Hyungwon replies, turning around to mess with his hair in the mirror. “Is Hyunwoo-hyung here already?”

Kihyun instantly stiffens but is quick to regain his composure. “He wrote in the group chat that he had a family dinner, and Lisa posted a picture of the two of them with Kim Jennie on her Instagram, so I guess it’s safe to say he is preoccupied tonight.”

Sensing the tension coming from Kihyun, Hyungwon asks more gently “So who’s sober tonight then?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and fixes the black leather choker around his neck, straightening the golden pendant with its diamonds glinting in the strong lights surrounding the mirror.

“I’m in my own house, Hyungwon. Don’t worry about it. Now, you better get going if you’re going to make it to your shoot in time.”

Hyungwon casts one last look of concern towards the other before heading out to the bedroom. The loud music comes at them the moment he opens the door out to the hallway, some dark, hot-and-heavy RnB beat telling them that the party is alive and kicking.

“If you say so, hyung.”

The door closes behind him and the noise lowers again. Kihyun unlocks his phone to take some pictures of himself, and mutes two of the message conversations he has constantly been checking since last week although he knows they most likely will remain silent for the rest of the night.

Putting the phone down, he starts to neatly divide the little white triangle pill into two pieces and pops one of them into his mouth, quickly swallowing it down and wincing at the gross, bitter taste remaining in the back of his throat.

He adjusts the silver bands adorning his fingers before leaning with both of his hands on the porcelain basin, staring at his reflection in the mirror for a few seconds before taking the other half into his mouth as well, leaving the bathroom with his phone left on the side of the sink.

***

The living room is filled up to the point that people are almost pouring out onto the balcony for there to be enough space for everyone. Everyone seems to be having a good time, dancing, drinking, smoking, making out in dark corners, but if Changkyun is going to be honest, he feels anxious about the whole thing.

From what he has heard, the guests are either clueless about who the host of the party is, or they are excessively fawning over Kihyun, seeming too excited about being in the Yoo penthouse at a Yoo Kihyun party.

His stepbrother seems to be revelling in the attention for now, enthusiastically playing some kind of pass-the-card mouth-to-mouth game which seems oddly out of place at this kind of party, but Kihyun is somehow making it work.

Almost none of the F4 seems to be present either, Changkyun having seen Hyungwon leave the place about forty-five minutes ago and that was about it, not counting Kihyun himself.

Attempting to curb his anxiety, he pours himself another shot of soju, quickly throwing it back and emptying it, the burn stinging his throat. As he looks up, he spots a familiar face coming towards him from the busy crowd.

“Hello, puppy!” Minhyuk coos as he gives Changkyun a warm hug and a smooth kiss on the cheek, his arm lingering on the other’s waist as he moves back.

“Hi hyung, I haven’t seen you in a while. You’ve changed your hair!” He exclaims, grinning at the older man who is looking sinfully good in a shirt matching his newly-dyed ash blonde locks. Minhyuk smiles back at him, only removing his hand to fill two glasses with soju.

“My roots were starting to become a little bit too visible, so I thought it was about time.”

They talk for a little while after taking the shots, but Changkyun struggles to keep up the conversation. Not necessarily because the soju was of the stronger sort or that Minhyuk is a bad conversationalist, but his gaze can’t help but follow Kihyun, the other growing more and more out of control.

Now that he is no longer busy with the game, he is on the make-shift dancefloor, dancing fervently with his eyes closed in the tight throng of people, his body sensually moving to the beat and his facial expression as serene as if he is asleep.

Changkyun is almost positive that Kihyun is on something different than alcohol, and with the stranger to familiar ratio the party now has, he is starting to worry that he might be held responsible if something happens to the apartment.

“Who’s stolen your attention from me, huh?” Minhyuk teases and nudges him, following his gaze towards the dancing crowd.

“It’s Kihyun-hyung, he’s-”

“Don’t worry about him,” Minhyuk says reassuringly and smiles, “Kihyun’s a big boy, he can handle himself. It’s not as if he has never been on E before.”

Changkyun’s eyes widen dramatically, but he wills himself to calm down. “But all these people, they don’t even know him.”

“They all have a connection to someone who knows Kihyun in one way or another, and they just want to have a good time which is why they’re here. It’s a good crowd, everyone who should be here, has showed up.”

“None of your close friends are here, though?” Changkyun tries. “It can’t be all that great?”

“What are you talking about?” Minhyuk replies and takes a look around. “Hoseok-hyung is outside with Jisoo, although he is staying sober tonight, which is sad, and Jooheon is here with his sugar daddy.”

“Who?” Changkyun’s stare leaves his stepbrother and is now fully trained on Minhyuk, urging him to continue.

“It’s a wonder you didn’t recognize him. Kihyun has told me all about your little fanboy adventures.” He says, making Changkyun feel a pang of excitement bittersweetly mixed with embarrassment hit him as he averts his eyes to try to spot the two. “They’re over there by the window. Him and Jackson go _way_ back.”

He spots Jooheon a second after, but the initial awe-struck feeling he gets from seeing Jackson Wang up close here in his own living room quickly evaporates when he notices how close they are standing and how Jackson gently ruffles the younger rapper’s hair, making Jooheon’s eyes turn into the pretty half-moons Changkyun was kind of hoping were reserved just for him.

Minhyuk notices Changkyun’s fallen expression and pats his shoulder. “Do you want another drink maybe?” He says softly, rubbing his arm in a comforting manner.

Changkyun tears his eyes away from the two and shakes his head as if to remove the thoughts creeping into his mind.

“Yes, thanks, that sounds good right now.”

He closely follows how Minhyuk finds some bottles lying around and makes up a concoction of various alcohols and mixers, carefully measuring the amounts with his tongue sticking out in complete focus. _It’s quite endearing, actually_ , Changkyun thinks to himself.

When he finishes, Minhyuk hands it over to Changkyun, who thanks him and empties the cup in one go, coughing as it stings his throat. Minhyuk can’t help but laugh at him and pats his back as he recovers.

They chatter mindlessly for a little while longer, Changkyun growing more daring as the time passes, returning all of Minhyuk’s touches, to the surprise and joy of the other.

As the music gets louder, Minhyuk leans in to whisper something to Changkyun, and the closer her gets, the more Changkyun can’t help but notice how plump and soft his lips are looking tonight, a pale layer of gloss making them pop out more than usual.

Stealing a glance towards the window where Jooheon is leaning into Jackson’s space, he takes a deep breath and turns back to look Minhyuk deeply in the eyes.

“Would you..”

“Would I what?” Minhyuk prompts, moving his hand to rub at Changkyun’s nape.

“Would you like to come see how I’ve decorated my room?” The moment the words leave his mouth, Changkyun face-palms himself mentally. _What kind of lame-ass pick-up line was that? Who wants to talk about décor at a party?_

“You’ve gone shopping, huh? Let’s see if your taste in trinkets is as good as your taste in men.”

Changkyun smiles sheepishly and looks away to meet Jooheon’s gaze across the room. He looks wary, as if the situation going on between Minhyuk and himself is making him uneasy.

Changkyun doesn’t think he has the right to look at him that way, especially with the whole Jackson thing going on over there, so he simply picks up his drink, linking hands with Minhyuk as he lifts it as if to greet the other from across the room as they maintain eye-contact, before pulling Minhyuk forcefully towards the stairs.

***

Kihyun is feeling fucking fantastic.

There is none of that anxiety paranoia bullshit he was feeling last time he was on this, only pure bliss and warmth. Every time someone bumps into him, he feels their touch simultaneously pulsate and sear on his skin. His hips are following the beat, slowly circling as he strokes his palms along his arms, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of his own touch.

A strong pair of arms firmly sneak their way around his midsection and the action has Kihyun sinking into the embrace with a heavy sigh, tilting his head back to rest it on the familiar muscle of Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Are you comfortable, Kihyunnie? Do you feel safe?” He murmurs into Kihyun’s ear, the combination of Hoseok’s husky, warm voice and the feel of his hot breath against own skin makes Kihyun shiver against him.

He only hums in response, a dopey smile wide on his mouth as he breathes against Hoseok. The older runs his hands down Kihyun’s sides, making him feel as if he is drowning in the embrace, but he is grounded through how tight Hoseok is still holding his body against him. Kihyun always feels like he can breathe easy around Hoseok.

“Do you want to have a moment soon, Kihyunnie?”

 Kihyun nods heavily, breaking out of the embrace and lets himself be led through the crowd out onto the balcony, the cold air immediately feeling too harsh on his exposed skin. He’s only wearing a thin sleeveless top made from some kind of mesh fabric which does little to keep his body warm, no matter how good it looks on him.

His face falls as he huddles down, feverishly rubbing on his arms to try to muster up some heat, but Hoseok is quick to cover Kihyun’s shaking body with the jacket he has tied around his waist.

“Are you still alright, Kihyunnie?” he says, pulling the smaller body down on one of the sunbeds, one of his hands running through Kihyun’s pink locks, massaging his scalp in an attempt to calm him. It seems to be working as the other leans heavily into the touch.

“Yeah.”

Hoseok notes that his expression is significantly more emotionless than his satisfied grin from only minutes ago and senses the change in mood in the other. He tries making Kihyun feel comfortable next to him, rubbing his back and shoulders, but the smile doesn’t seem to want to return to Kihyun’s face.

The moonlight is illuminating the impressive penthouse terrace and paired with the dramatic backdrop of Seoul’s cityscape, it is truly a beautiful sight, all picturesque and glowing, but the scenery does little to make up for the cold, cutting wind, which for some reason has decided to invite itself to the party tonight.

Without breaking the silence they have got going on, Kihyun detaches from Hoseok’s hold to lay down on the sunbed, propping his head up on the plush pillow as he pulls the jacket tighter around his body. He closes his eyes, and for a moment, Hoseok thinks he is going to have to carry Kihyun upstairs so that he can fall asleep in his own bed, away from the ruckus of the party, but instead the younger speaks up.

“D’you wanna know something funny?”

The hollowness in his usually chipper voice is telling Hoseok that the following words will be anything but funny, but he still indulges Kihyun with a soft “Yeah, go for it.”

“He told me to stop calling him, so I did, and I’ve been good. I’ve been so _so_ good, I haven’t called, haven’t texted, no Instagram, no nothing, because he told me he would message me when he came back, and here comes the funny part, he still hasn’t called.”

The laugh escaping from Kihyun’s lips is almost manic, leaving him gasping for air, and the display makes Hoseok tense up in worry. He intertwines his fingers with Kihyun’s and waits for him to catch his breath again before talking.

“You do know that they are still in Japan, right? He wouldn’t lie to you like that.”

“But I saw…then why is…” Kihyun stutters, eyes remaining softly shut as he sighs dejectedly, giving up on articulation when his head is reeling like this with too many emotions surfacing at the same time. Hoseok squeezes Kihyun’s hand, wishing more than ever that Hyunwoo was here to help him out.

He doesn’t know why his two friends aren’t on speaking terms right now, Kihyun having refused to talk about it while they were in Busan and Hyunwoo generally holding the more intimate details about his and Kihyun’s relationship, or lack thereof, to himself.

Hoseok knows that they have had spats before, it is only natural when you have known each other for as long as Kihyun and Hyunwoo has, but they usually last less than a day, the two never having been able to be without each other for much longer than that.

Kihyun is probably the most stubborn guy he knows, but never when it comes to Hyunwoo, and Hyunwoo himself has never been able to deny the younger anything, so when it has now been almost two weeks without the two talking to each other, the fight has lasted long enough for the rest of the friend group start to realize that something must be very wrong.

He’s pulled out of his reverie by a docile Kihyun snuggling up to his side, burying his face in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, his breath tickling him.

“You’ll always call, right, Hoseokkie?” he asks, his voice so low Hoseok can barely make out the words spilling with insecurity coming from his mouth. He feels like there might be more behind them than Kihyun is telling him, but right now he is high off his mind and in no state to deal with the kinds of feelings those conversations would spur.

Therefore, he does the only thing he can think of, pulling Kihyun’s smaller frame closer and telling him reassuringly.

“Of course, Kihyun-ah. Always.”

***

The bravado Changkyun had built up before dragging Minhyuk towards his room has slowly but steadily evaporated, leaving him more nervous than self-assured when he opens the bedroom door and turns the light on.

“It used to be much emptier, but I got all of the space-themed stuff to make it cosier since I’m kind of obsessed with the universe.” He tries to explain while Minhyuk waltzes around as if to survey the area for anything of interest.

He quickly spots the GOT7 poster and laughs out loud. “Should I go get Jackson for you?”

Changkyun flushes at the mention of the idol, but with Jackson Wang also comes the memory of the other rapper he is currently occupied with downstairs. He pushes the thoughts away and tugs at Minhyuk’s hand to pull him away from the poster towards another picture which depicts a constellation.

“Look at this instead, isn’t it incredible?”

As he releases the grip on the other’s hand, Minhyuk’s fingers start tugging at the hem of Changkyun’s white shirt, deftly unbuttoning it. “It’s incredibly incredible.”

With a shrug, Changkyun lets the shirt fall to the floor as Minhyuk runs his hand over his chest. He knows he is not the guy with the most muscles, but the intense dancing and swimming practice from Andover has definitely had its impact on his body in a good way.

He looks up to face Minhyuk’s almost predatory grin before he finds himself embraced and his mouth captured by the plump lips of the other. Changkyun responds eagerly to the kiss, his hands fisting into Minhyuk’s blonde strands to pull him closer.

Minhyuk grins appreciatively before pushing Changkyun up against the wall, his head banging into the constellation behind him and he is seeing stars. The other’s body feels amazing against his own, and with the way Minhyuk is grinding into him, the pressure is starting to become too much, and his pants are definitely feeling too tight.

Walking Minhyuk backwards towards the bed, he pushes the other down and straddles him, the situation suddenly feeling like a déjà vu from his first party here, in Kihyun’s room. Now, he is feeling much more comfortable than he did the first time, especially as he has Minhyuk’s sexy body hotly writhing underneath him.

A second later, Minhyuk has somehow managed to rid himself of his shirt and eagerly starts pulling at Changkyun’s belt buckle with his skilled hands, effectively pulling his pants and boxers down in one go. Changkyun doesn’t even have the time to feel exposed before Minhyuk’s hand is on his dick, and he feels like a supernova.

Keeling into the touch, he captures Minhyuk’s lips with his own again, steadying himself on the older man’s shoulders, moaning loudly into his mouth as he lightly pumps him at a slower pace. Using the pre-cum as a makeshift lube, Minhyuk increases the speed of his hand, nosing at Changkyun’s neck before biting down hard onto the pale skin and licking at the sensitive area.

“So beautiful.” Minhyuk murmurs into his skin over the bite, making Changkyun whimper. He can feel Minhyuk’s erection pushing at his jeans underneath him, which makes his confidence grow. _Lee Minhyuk, super-hot, charming and obviously experienced Lee Minhyuk is feeling turned on by me, wants me,_ Changkyun muses and feels himself growing even harder at the thought.

He arches into the touch again, fucking up into Minhyuk’s fist, but as he does that, Minhyuk teasingly thumbs over the slit, making Changkyun cum abruptly. Keeping his composure, Minhyuk calmly keeps on rubbing him out, placing small kisses on the side of his neck.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Minhyuk-hyung.” Changkyun says, his voice trembling as he looks down in shame, trying to get off of Minhyuk who is drying his hands on the bedsheets. _At least Kihyun usually has tissues nearby his bed,_ Minhyuk thinks to himself with a chuckle.

“Don’t worry, Changkyunnie, we still have time…”

“I didn’t even last, oh god, this is so embarrassing…”

“Puppy, really, it doesn’t matter. Come he-”

“No!” Changkyun shouts at the other as he tries to put his shirt back on in a hurry and failing. Instead, he grabs his pyjamas and practically runs into the en-suite, locking the door behind him.

“Changkyun, come on!” Minhyuk says, the irritation colouring his voice as he looks towards the door the younger just disappeared behind.

“Get out!”

Minhyuk huffs. “That was so close.” He says under his breath, putting his shirt back on and quickly fixing his hair in the mirror before disappearing downstairs, knowing a lost cause when he sees one.

***

Kihyun hears about the newest attempt from Minhyuk the day after the party, when they are eating breakfast together with Hoseok on the balcony. Even with the lack of feeling from his comedown, Kihyun laughs until he is fully crying and keeps laughing for a good five minutes until he is completely drained and finally able to catch his breath. Hoseok joins in as well, finding the whole encounter rather adorable.

They both leave an hour later, after Kihyun reassures them he is feeling alright and can take care of himself. Changkyun lingers at the top of the staircase until he hears the chatter cease and the front door go shut before heading down into the kitchen to get something to eat.

Kihyun appears, clad in white shorts and a matching dressing robe with his phone clutched in his hand, and greets Changkyun with an amused smile before going outside again to laze around the beautiful weather.

A couple of hours pass, and when Kihyun comes back inside, his smile has disappeared, and he is glaring fiercely at Changkyun.

“Are you feeling alright, hyung?” he asks cautiously.

“I’m feeling fucking great.” He seethes. “Especially since I’ve been spending half an hour getting reprimanded like a fucking kid by one of my best friends.”

Changkyun puts his phone away, frowning at Kihyun’s words. Kihyun walks over to where he is sitting.

“You see, I’m basically Jooheon’s favourite hyung, but there he was, berating me over the phone about you, saying I should tell Minhyuk to back off, but you know what? Fuck that, you’re old enough to take care of yourself, aren’t you?”

Kihyun almost spits as he finishes, and Changkyun’s eyes widen at the new information, suddenly feeling angry at the entire situation.

“Of course, I can! I know what I’m doing and Jooheon can just go fuck himself.” He almost shouts back, which seems to satisfy Kihyun.

“Good, cause trust me on this, Changkyun, my friends turning on me is not something I will ever take lightly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a month it has been! All these comebacks with even more to come. It's safe to say I was NOT ready!! With NCT 127, Stray Kids, LAY, EXO (!!!!!) and many others as well, let's just say I have been very busy making playlists haha!
> 
> Regarding Monsta X.....they need their own paragraph here. Let's just give them all a massive round of applause cause that album, like WOW! It's just overall /SO/ INCREDIBLY GREAT, and seeing them win music shows for Shoot Out really makes my heart warm so much! Our boys deserve this so much!  
> I think my favourite song from "Take.1 Are You There?" has to be Myself, which one was yours?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, subscribing, giving me kudos and taking the time to write comments, I appreciate you guys so incredibly much and I really hope I can keep delivering for you!


	9. Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers!
> 
> First things first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY, YOO KIHYUN! I hope he gets to celebrate properly and that he receives a lot of love today! I was rushing a bit to finish the chapter in time for the big day, so if there are any major mistakes, blame Kihyun haha!
> 
> Now, with that done, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter! It's one you've all been waiting for.

“Kihyun-ah, stop pacing like that and come back to bed.”

Kihyun halts his walking, but his thumbs keep picking at the skin of the other fingers, subconsciously refusing to stop fidgeting. He looks down at his phone again, locking it when he sees no new notification other than a reminder telling him the location of the business dinner with his father and another hotshot entertainment executive that evening.

He sighs heavily and puts the phone in the pocket of the grey hoodie which Kihyun stubbornly insists on wearing even though it is huge on his slim frame. Casting one last glance towards the Seoul skyline, he turns around and walks back to the bed and into Hyunwoo’s warm embrace.

“I’ve missed you.”

Smiling softly at the sincerity of the words, Hyunwoo pulls him closer and places a soft kiss on the crown of Kihyun’s head. Kihyun snuggles into his chest, breathing in the other’s smell of sweat and musk and it is so inherently Hyunwoo he feels his eyes starting to water. Being on the second day of his comedown, his emotions are heightened, and it feels so incredibly good to be back in Hyunwoo’s arms.

“I’ve missed you too.” He murmurs back, pushing a strand of hair out of Kihyun’s face. “You should just keep that hoodie since you always end up stealing it when you’re here. It looks much better on you anyways.”

Kihyun scoffs with a smile, tugging at one of the strings. “But then it wouldn’t smell like you anymore, hyung, and then what’s the point?”

His mouth then gets captured by Hyunwoo’s plush lip, and he gasps into the kiss as the other teasingly bites down onto Kihyun’s lower lip.

They haven’t talked much since Kihyun showed up unannounced at the door an hour ago, demanding to be let in. A bemused Hyunwoo opened the door, but as soon as he saw the look on the younger’s face, he was quick to pull him inside, shutting the door behind him.

No words, no apologies said, but the fervent kisses speak for themselves.

Hyunwoo rolls on top of him, pressing Kihyun’s body into the mattress as Kihyun’s hands snake around his waist to hold him close. The kisses grow softer as he moves his head to place gentle kisses trailing Kihyun’s jawline, following down to the spot underneath his ear lobe where he is extra sensitive, making Kihyun shiver underneath him.

He backs up, hovering over Kihyun, just to take another look at him. Kihyun knows he is not looking his best right now, the pink of his hair having started to take a shade of yellowy-orange and the bags underneath his eyes making it look like he hasn’t slept in days, but the emotion in Hyunwoo’s eyes say nothing of how washed up he looks.

Kihyun finds that he needs too look away from the intensity of Hyunwoo’s gaze and shifts his look downwards instead. They stay in this position for a while, the sun which previously bathed their side of the room in bright colours seems to have moved the shadows around, telling the two that their time is almost up.

He retracts his hands and starts picking at his fingers again, his eyes trained on them, still not facing the other’s gaze. A few more minutes pass before he finally breaks the silence.

“Do you think I’d be a good boyfriend?” His voice is so small and vulnerable, but there is only the two of them in the room, with nothing but their heartbeats resounding between them.

Hyunwoo suddenly rolls off him onto his back and sits up running a hand through his hair. The fond look which previously adorned his face has now washed away, a more strained look having taken its place.

“I don’t think that’s fair of you, Kihyun.”

Kihyun merely closes his eyes, exhaling sharply as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. He is starting to feel more and more restless, the skin on the side of his index finger almost turned raw and sore with a dull and persistent pain. He intensely wishes he could do something to calm himself, but he needs to be sober for the business dinner so any of his usual devices are out of the question.

Looking over at the old-fashioned alarm clock, Kihyun becomes aware that he needs to leave to make it to his hairdresser appointment in time. He gets out of bed and grabs his jeans in a hurry, knowing that he needs to be on time for the appointment to avoid being late for the meeting, not wanting to disappoint his father by doing that.

He extracts his phone from the pocket before pulling the hoodie over his head, folding it and placing it down on the bed. Hyunwoo still hasn’t moved from his position, looking down at his hands, fiddling with his Rolex. Kihyun picks his own sweater up of the floor and pats the hoodie to capture the other’s attention.

“We have to make sure that your scent stays, right?” he says with a small laugh which tugs at the corner of Hyunwoo’s lips, though the smile doesn’t really reach his eyes as he nods back at Kihyun.

Rounding the bed, Kihyun stands fully dressed in front of Hyunwoo and bends down to place a small peck on his lips. Hyunwoo sneaks a hand up to Kihyun’s nape, deepening the kiss with force, making Kihyun’s knees weak and his arms seek support on Hyunwoo’s broad shoulders.

Hyunwoo’s hand releases his nape and trails down his arm to gently hold his hand, his lips red and bruised, looking devastatingly handsome like always, and Kihyun doesn’t want to leave. He reluctantly takes a step back, licking his lips and squeezes Hyunwoo’s hand.

“I’ll see you later, hyung.”

“Yeah, see you, Kihyun-ah.” Hyunwoo answers, placing a soft kiss on top of Kihyun’s hand before letting go of it, his eyes following Kihyun’s retreating back as it quickly disappears out the door.

***

Two hours later, Kihyun arrives the restaurant after sending his driver away for the night, speed-walking up the stairs of the building’s entrance, fiddling with the sleeve of his silky, white shirt. To satisfy his father, he has put on a sleek black suit with fitted pants which hopefully gives off an air of serious business, while the shirt adds a flair of Kihyun’s personal style to it. The outfit looks good with his freshly dyed blonde locks as well, making him look more mature and someone to be taken seriously.

Speaking of his father, he was supposed to meet him in the reception area to receive a briefing on the clients, but as he is fifteen minutes late, Kihyun assumes he will have to wing it as no Mr. Yoo or any entertainment entourage is seen in the anteroom.

The restaurant is a traditional barbecue place, the grey stone wall interior, soft low lighting and dark wooden flooring creates an intimate and private vibe, different to the more open-space, public restaurant they went to last time. He figures this must be a more important deal for the company than he first thought.

The phone vibrates, and he reaches into his pocket to get it, seeing the notification that it is from his father. He takes a deep breath and steels himself before unlocking the phone to read.

**From: Father**

_You better get here soon, you are  
making the guests wait._

_This is an extremely important_  
_meeting, and you are putting_  
 _me in a bad light right now._

His shoulders tense at the scolding as he tries to stay level-headed. Pocketing the phone, he gives the receptionist his name, and Kihyun is led further into the building by a hostess, towards what seems to be one of the larger dining rooms in the establishment.

It truly is an aesthetically pleasing place, the sound of running water coming from the small fountain system stretching along the wall adding to the already tranquil atmosphere, and he understands why his father’s assistants chose this place for such an important meeting.

The hostess stops before a sliding door with a stone step for entering lying in front of it, and nine pairs of what looks like male shoes are neatly placed next to it. Kihyun slips off his leather Oxfords and puts them next to what he assumes must be his father’s similar ones, chuckling at the coincidence.

Standing up straight, Kihyun smiles at the lady as she takes his suit jacket and opens the door for him, thanking her with a small bow before stepping into the room.

“ _Here comes trouble_ ,” he hears a familiar voice singsong as he enters, making Kihyun freeze in motion, feeling a shiver down his spine before quickly composing himself like he has been taught to do when faced with unexpected situations.

“ _Girl’s Generation, really?_ ” another voice chastises, a thump following as Yugyeom hits the back of Bambam’s head, the other member complaining loudly.

Kihyun refrains from rubbing his nose before smiling weakly at the group. He walks over to his father who is sitting across from a man who must be the CEO of JYP Entertainment and bows respectfully to both of them as they stand up to greet him, refusing to let his gaze stray from the elders.

“I sincerely apologize for my lateness, I hope you haven’t been kept waiting for too long.”

The CEO chuckles at him, and appears to be satisfied with the polite apology, sending Mr. Yoo an approving look before turning back to Kihyun, who waits for his father to formally introduce them.

“This is Mr. Wook Jung, the CEO of JYP Entertainment.” His father confirms his suspicion and Kihyun bows deeply towards the other again. “And this is my son and the heir of the company, Yoo Kihyun. He’s about to start his third year as a business major at SNU, at the top in all of his classes.”

Kihyun smiles shyly as his father boasts about him, the great pride it gives him almost overtaking the sense of dread that crept up on him when he entered the room.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less of a son of yours, Yoo.” Mr. Wook tells the other CEO with a grin. “Now, let me introduce our current best-selling male idol group, GOT7. I am sure you have heard of them before.”

As if queued, they perk up and do their greeting, as if Kihyun hasn’t already seen it a thousand times before. Looking around properly for the first time, he sees that he is seated next to Jinyoung, who sends him a steely smile which Kihyun proceeds to mirror.

Next to him is Mark and Youngjae, who cordially smile at him, the situation requiring them to be more formal than they usually act towards each other. Sitting opposite of them are the two youngest who are seemingly not caring too much about the formalities, sending suggestive looks towards Kihyun which he tries to ignore as he focuses on greeting Jackson properly, since he is the person he knows the best out of all the members. Except for the man sitting in front of Kihyun.

Im Jaebum is placed at the right hand of the CEO to do his job as representative of the group, but what Mr. Wook is not aware of is that the group’s leader has been sleeping with the son of his business partner on and off for about two years now.

Jaebum warily meets Kihyun’s gaze which has turned cold upon facing him and seems conflicted as they formally greet each other. Mr. Wook looks between the two with a curious stare. “Do you two know each other already?”

Kihyun sees both his father and Jaebum go rigid as they look towards him, the former most likely in fear of Kihyun having jeopardized the deal before it has even taken place and the latter because he has always been paranoid when it comes to his “arrangement” with the younger.

Jaebum is about to respond, but Kihyun beats him to it. “Yes, sir, but only through a friend we have in common who used to be a trainee at your company. You know Son Hyunwoo-hyung, right?” he explains calmly, the last part aimed at his father who nods approvingly at the mention of Kihyun’s well-respected best friend. Jaebum, on the other hand, purses his lips at the words.

The moment passes as they call the bell for the waiter to take their orders. Mr. Yoo tells the boys that they can order and eat as much as they want as he will cover all expenses, the sentiment met with a flow of grateful thank-you’s.

Kihyun takes a sip of his water, intensely wishing the glass was filled with something stronger. The itching starts fully again, and he can’t hold himself back from discretely rubbing at his nose. His lack of control stretches further as he sneaks a look over at Jaebum again and narrows his eyes slightly.

“I thought GOT7 were promoting in Japan at the moment, or did they come back two days ago?” he asks in a falsely curious tone, stealing a glance towards Jackson who was very much present at his party Wednesday night.

“They were promoting in Japan, yes, but the final concert was held last Sunday so the members had a few days off before they arrived back in Seoul yesterday morning. At JYPE, we consider our artists’ health as our main priority which is why we gave the boys a few days off after their promotions ended to do whatever they wanted, which in this case meant to stay a few days longer in Tokyo. This core value has also been exhibited in Jackson not taking part of Japanese promotions in order for him to recover fully.” Mr. Wook brags, his tone proud as he drones on about the company’s newly implemented health policies, but Kihyun quickly looses his focus after the first part.

He glances over at Jaebum who has the decency to look ashamed as he inspects his drink with high concentration, not daring to meet Kihyun’s eyes.

The dinner passes with little commotion, the members mostly talk between themselves as they eat, politely answering questions when required to and Mr. Wook seemingly pleased with the conditions Mr. Yoo has proposed. Kihyun has mainly tried to follow their conversation, attempting to make use of his degree to understand what they have been talking about as well as keeping his focus away from Jaebum.

Nearing the end, Mr. Yoo proposes a toast to their business relations, the hostess entering with several bottles of soju which she places on the table. Kihyun is quick to pour the liquid for Mr. Wook and his father, reaching over to fill Jaebum’s glass as well as the other’s gaze follows Kihyun’s action before politely returning the favour.

Kihyun looks up as he finishes pouring, the tension heavy between the two of them, but Jaebum still keeps his eyes to himself. The group empties their glasses with a loud cheer and Mr. Yoo signals for another one, but Kihyun can’t stand it anymore. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, his father nodding at him with a pleased grin, seemingly satisfied with his performance.

He hurries out of the room, clumsily putting his shoes back on as soon as he closes the door and strides towards the part of the hallway that the bathroom sign points at. Kihyun breathes heavily as he checks that the two stalls are empty before he collapses against the sink, about to turn the faucet on to splash some water on his face but catches himself as he puts his hands underneath the stream.

Sighing, he dries his hands again, remembering the makeup he meticulously put on earlier and wrings his hands. He knows he promised his father to make a good impression during the meeting, but if he is going to go back into the lion’s den, he needs reinforcement.

Reaching into his left front pocket, Kihyun finds a small, transparent bag of white powder which he empties the half of out on the counter, using his S-card to make three straight lines. The portrait picture smiles up at him from the side of the ID, taken two years ago when he still was an energetic first-year. He scoffs as he puts the card back into his wallet and pulls out a crumpled 50 000 won banknote which he deftly rolls into a thin and tight cylinder.

He finishes two of the lines in one go, pinching and moving his nose afterwards at the uncomfortable sensation. It has never been a pleasurable act, but he can’t find it in himself to deal with his father and Jaebum in the same room, sober, so he ignores the burn and gets ready to finish off the last line when the door opens.

“I thought I told you to stop with that fucking drug thing, Kihyun.” Jaebum thunders as he strides towards him, clenching his jaw as he looms over Kihyun who is leaning calmly against the counter. “Do I have to remind you about all the trouble you got me in when the managers found that stuff in my room the last time you had something on you? And you know that shit is going to kill you, right? Can you stop being so goddamn selfish for once in your life?”

A mix of worry and anger radiates from him, but the coke is starting to hit Kihyun, rendering him too high to care about Jaebum’s outburst which in any other circumstance would have hurt him a lot. All he can think of is the proximity of their bodies, the other man closer than he has been in weeks, making Kihyun yearn for Jaebum to finally touch him.

Without a single worry on his mind, Kihyun smirks coyly and lifts himself up to kiss Jaebum with intense passion, his arms wrapping around the other’s neck as he attacks his mouth with hunger. Jaebum stays unresponsive at first but is quick to give in to Kihyun’s eager advances. His strong arms wrap around Kihyun’s small waist and hold on tightly as the younger arches into the embrace.

He breaks the kiss to breathe heavily as he looks down into Kihyun’s devious eyes, his pupils expanded to the max, looking up at Jaebum as if he wants to devour him.

“If we’re going to ignore the fact that you lied to me about your return, I think you can ignore a little coke for the night.” He says brazenly, biting down into his lower lip. “I’m just glad you’re back in Korea again, hyung.”

Jaebum smirks back at him, his eyes flickering between Kihyun’s eyes and lips before settling on the latter, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

Kihyun nods slowly, with a small smile covering his lips before they are captured by Jaebum’s, and he sighs into the kiss. He has waited for this moment for a long time and decides to savour it as much as he can. Seeing Jaebum like this makes him forget about the real world for a while, even if the older man is one of his main problems.

He cradles Jaebum’s sharp jawline with one of his hands, as the other tangles in his stupidly long mullet, which he still hasn’t decided whether he hates or not. Jaebum bends down to wrap his arms around Kihyun’s thighs, easily lifting him onto the counter as Kihyun wraps his legs around his waist to pull him closer. He moans loudly, feeling Jaebum starting to get hard against him.

“Let’s ditch the meeting, come home with me.” Kihyun manages to get out as he leans back to catch his breath. A line of saliva stretches between their mouths, which Kihyun licks towards, all caught up in his lust, making Jaebum chuckle.

“You know we can’t do that, Kihyun-ah. I have to be up early for an interview tomorrow and I promised Jinyoung I wouldn’t stay out the nights before when we have schedules anymore.”

“Jinyoung is no fun.” Kihyun pouts, making Jaebum laugh out loud. He remembers when Hyunwoo still was a trainee and would always get scolded by Jinyoung when he sneaked out to meet Kihyun the nights when the younger was feeling lonely and craving the company of his hyung. He smiles fondly at the memory but shakes the thought away, returning his focus to the man in front of him.

“I guess we will have to make do with the time we have then.” He says, sliding off the counter and right down on his knees, hands reaching up to undo Jaebum’s belt. Jaebum’s eyes widen and he takes hold of Kihyun’s hands as the door suddenly opens to reveal Jinyoung.

“Speaking of the devil…” Kihyun mumbles, annoyed at the interruption.

“I didn’t think you would be this reckless, Jaebum. If anyone else walked in these doors now or when Kihyun here was moaning loudly a few minutes ago, your entire career would be over, you know that right?”

The words are sobering to Jaebum as he lightly pushes Kihyun away, taking a step back and straightens his shirt. Jinyoung walks over to him to make his hair look less ruffled as Kihyun silently gets back up on his feet.

“I better get back to the table.” Jaebum says, his voice detached as he looks at Kihyun one last time before disappearing out into the hallway, leaving Kihyun faced with an irritated Jinyoung.

“You do know he doesn’t care about you, right?” he says casually with a wry smile on his lips, as if he is discussing the food they just ate. “To him, you’re just another body to keep his bed warm and his urges in check.”

Kihyun clenches his fist as he looks into Jinyoung’s eyes with a frosty glare. “Who says he isn’t that for me as well?”

Jinyoung only chuckles as that. “How Jaebum, Hyunwoo or any of the others even bother with you, I'll never understand.” He says, stepping closer to Kihyun, only a few centimetres separating them as he continues. “You’re just a slut and a junkie who will end up alone as soon as they all get tired of having their way with you, which to be honest has been a long time coming.”

Kihyun is left speechless as Jinyoung smiles gently at him before backing off and walking towards the exit. “You just wait and see, Yoo Kihyun. And please get rid of the cocaine from the back of your pants before you leave. You wouldn’t want to make a bad impression on CEO-nim, would you?”

The door closes after him, and a minute passes before Kihyun manages to move from his position. He thoroughly dusts off the back of his pants which are stained white from the substance, just like Jinyoung told him, and avoids looking into the mirror.

Pulling out the phone from his pocket, he unlocks it with trembling hands and quickly finds the number he is searching for, pressing the call button. Hyunwoo picks up on the third ring.

“ _Kihyun-ah, aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?_ ” Hyunwoo asks curiously, telling someone in the background who sounds just like Minhyuk that _yes, it’s Kihyun who’s calling_.

“Hyung, I need you to pick me up right now.” He says, his numb voice reflecting his insides as he picks on the scab on his finger, making it bleed a deep red. Hyunwoo stills for a bit, before responding, the concern vivid in his voice.

“ _Where’s the restaurant?_ ”

“In Seogyo-dong, I’ll send you the location.”

“ _Okay, we are in Hongdae right now, so we’re fairly close. We’ll be there as soon as possible, alright?”_

“Yeah,” he responds, his voice wavering, Kihyun being in less control of it than he wishes he was, “just hurry, please.”

He hangs up after that, sending a quick message with the address of the restaurant, and empties the rest of the little bag’s content onto the counter, but instead of bothering to make lines, he messily sniffs the entire content through several snorts, roughly rubbing at his nose when he finishes and looks at his reflection in the mirror as he washes his hands.

The tear streaming down his face has remained unnoticed until now, Kihyun wetting a paper towel to try patting the single line of red the salty tear has left in its wake away, luckily managing to save his makeup.

His phone vibrates, and it is Minhyuk telling him that they are about three minutes away. Cleaning up any excess powder from the counter, he finally exits the bathroom and walks slowly back towards the room.

Taking a deep breath, he steels himself and opens the sliding door after taking his shoes off. The group is still chatting loudly, the atmosphere relaxed with everyone looking like they are having a good time.

Mr. Wook turns around to look at him as he walks over, grinning at his return. “Kihyun-ah, have another drink with us. You are far behind!”

Kihyun responds with a laugh, struggling to make it sound sincere as he declines. “I am so terribly sorry, but something has come up. My stepbrother needs my help, so I will have to leave you now. He is still new to Seoul and doesn’t know his way around and I promised Mother I would take care of him while they were out of the country.”

His father buys his lie easily, rolling his eyes as he scoffs loudly. “That damn Im kid. He shouldn’t be your responsibility.”

Feigning an apologetic look, he turns towards Mr. Wook as the other stands up. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Wook. I hope you will consider our proposal.”

Mr. Wook grins at Kihyun, patting his shoulder as he looks back at Mr. Yoo. “This young man is going places, Yoo, I’m telling you. The future of your company is in good hands.” The words make his father smile arrogantly, while Jinyoung scoffs under his breath, having overheard the conversation.

He says goodbye to the group, avoiding Jaebum’s questioning eyes as he puts his suit jacket back on and leaves the room. The smile leaves his face the moment the door closes behind him and he quickly steps into his shoes making their back fold in his rush to leave the restaurant.

He recognizes Hyunwoo’s car as he descends the stairs, having slowed down the moment he stepped out into the cold evening air. The door of the passenger seat opens as Minhyuk climbs out, his gaze trained on the raw wound on Kihyun’s hand. Spotting the empty look covering his face, Minhyuk meets him halfway and embraces him instantly, clutching the shivering body against his.

“Hey, hey, let’s get out of here, alright, Kihyunnie?” Minhyuk murmurs into his hair as Kihyun nods in agreement and lets himself be led into the backseat of the car, Minhyuk not letting go of him except for when he fastens their seat belts.

Kihyun’s eyes meet Hyunwoo’s in the rear-view mirror as he drives out of the car park, his best friend smiling brightly at him, quickly reading the situation. “The new hair colour looks lovely on you, Kihyun-ah.”

He can’t really explain it, but the words make a small smile appear on his face even if it is too hard for Kihyun to make it stay in place. And if they mention the tears that start streaming down his face, he will definitely blame it on his comedown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.....this wasn't much of a birthday gift, was it? I can promise you it wasn't planned to have this exact chapter on this exact day, but that is life, isn't it? :) (Kihyun, I love you I swear)
> 
> Some of you were spot on with your guesses, making me grin so hard when I was reading the comments. There were several hints placed out in earlier chapters, some more obvious than others, so good job to those guessed right! (bonus points if you found all the hints I put in). The choice of Mr. Idol was clear from the beginning and I have my reasons for choosing JB. He is my Got7 bias, so there's no hate towards him or anything, don't worry haha!
> 
> First, I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has read, subscribed, commented and given me kudos! The story has now passed 100 kudos, which is insane?? When I first started writing this, I didn't think people would like it much, with the pace being as intense as it is here, but the reactions I have received have taken me by surprise! So thank you so much for supporting me and coming on this wild ride together with me and the boys :D
> 
> Secondly, I just wanna say that I'm not sure when I'll be able to post the next chapter, as many deadlines are coming up, but do not fret, I'm never going to abandon this story haha :D
> 
> Lastly, I just wanted to tell you guys that I made a CuriousCat if anyone is interested, for all those things that don't fit the comment section or requires anonymity haha! None of my friends are really into Monsta X or Kpop so I don't really talk to people about these things, so yeah, if you wanna ask about the fic, Monsta X or life in general, just click the link [here](https://curiouscat.me/heim100)!
> 
> Again, thank you so so so much from the bottom of my heart for reading and giving me feedback! You're all so so appreciated and I will keep trying to do my best for you! ♡


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